Hi
I’m pretty new to all of this so still finding my feet but am feeling really rundown and struggling with caring for my partner. He was diagnosed about a month ago with testicular cancer which has spread to his abdomen, lungs and brain. We were just about to get our own place together and start the next stage of our life but had to back out due to his diagnosis.
He went in right away for treatment but got worse after a few complications and was in the ICU for two weeks and almost put on life support. He’s made a miraculous recovery since then and after nearly a month in the hospital he’s home and I’m looking after him. Because of the tumours in his brain he lost use of his right hand for a while, couldn’t really walk and was struggling to communicate beyond yes and no.
To start I was obviously doing everything but now he seems almost back to normal considering everything but I still do everything. He has also started picking apart everything I’ve been doing and criticising me in small comments which is now making it harder to keep myself positive. I can’t tell if it’s the brain tumours, his frustration at the situation but it’s being taken out on me and I’m really struggling. Then I feel guilty for feeling tired and wanting a break or some time away because he can’t have a break from it. Even though it was terrifying and stressful while he was in the hospital I at least had a break or not all the responsibility and he seems to forget that I’m not a trained nurse. I’m only 26 and just don’t feel ready for any of this but I have to be. What can I do so I don’t feel angry at him or myself? How can I stop myself from burning out more?
