THE ORIGINAL GANG OF MUSHROOM ROPE BUILDERS (i.e Mel & Em's thread cont...)

Afternoon all

Em - so sorry that the message from your cousin upset you today hun but glad that she managed to lget in contact with you and was able to let you know how fond she was of your Dad. Big hugs x

Melly - one thing is for sure, your friends here haven't forgotten that it was only four weeks ago that you lost your lovely Mum. We understand and are here for you always. Hope you are ok as seen your post on rant thread x

Wendy - ((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))))))))))))))))) sorry you are having a bad day today. It is bound to be such an emotional time for you, a mixture of excitement that your little bundle will very soon be here and sadness that your Mum and Dad aren't around to see him/her. Hun, your little pip will know them through your own memories and remember that he/she is a part of them too. The baby's journal sounds a wonderful idea. Hope the chocolate worked wonders and you are now feeling a little better.

Bern, Nic and Den - you are all very quiet, what you up to? x

Jac - thinking of you & your family x

Lesley, Cath, Dawn - hope you are all ok x

Helen - I is well excited - only five more sleeps! Speak later mate x

Well, I'm having a really good day today and have got loads done around the house, in preparation for the doll's inspection! I was very up and down over the weekend, there were more tears and I've felt very out of sorts at times but I know this is all very normal (thanks Bern for bringing the grief thread to the top again for me, it helped to read it again). It is the occasional good day like today, that we all have to hold onto, knowing there will be more and more of them in the future.

Love and hugs to you all,

Sam x

ps I want to change my username, anyone got any ideas?

hi all

congrats to great auntie sam!!

Em - i'm sure you are in the same frame of mind as me at the moment. Dad is so, so much in my thoughts, more than ever. I feel like i'm reliving last year all over again. I still catch my breath when i see the father's day cards. Last father's day was just 2 weeks after we'd found out that Dad only had months. At that stage we thought it would be 6 months, not 6 weeks! we just have to go back to the day at a time mantra. Not that it's altered much, but the intensity of grief is back stronger than ever at the moment.

Mel - i know exactly what you mean. it's almost as though you've stopped still and when you look around the world is still moving forward and it's hard to comprehend. I tried not to be concerned over what people said or did at times - sometimes you just have to let it go. But people did say and do things that stunned me. People genuinly don't get it unless they've been there themselves. Mum is convinced that some of her neighbours put their head down or look away when they see her and it's because they can't come to terms with it, they worry about what to say and how mum will be. The irony of it is mum just wants them to acknowledge her, dad, the situation.

that's why this forum is so good. I love talking about my dad and even if it still breaks my heart, i need to tell people and unfortunately some people want to shut it away in the box marked upsetting stuff that happened last year. i can see it in people's faces sometimes, so you just carry on as normal because that's what they want to see - the old you, back to normal, but we all know it never really will be the old me and normal is so not normal anymore.

oh good grief sorry, i didn't mean to bleat on. having one of those days. Anyway hope you are ok tonight folks. speak soon

all my love

cath
xxx

Cath - It is so true that others move on so quickly after someone has died and you are left feeling alone with your grief. A few weeks/months down the line and people just find it old news but to you, a year later, it is still going to be fresh and very much on your mind. You are right that people don't get it unless they've been there. Last week, one of the mum's at school asked me how I was doing so I explained that it had been a rough time of late and told her that 'I'm missing him so much' - she asked who I meant!!! She was one of the first people at school that knew my Dad had died when it happened, but she'd clearly forgotten and obviously didn't know what I was talking about. When I explained she just said 'Oh' and looked puzzled. She was probably thinking that it was so long ago now, why was I still feeling this way. No, other people don't understand but we do here, so you talk about your Dad to us whenever you want to x

Melly - ((((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))), we love ya x

KELSEY - yes, I am shouting now. We know you are out there somewhere as we've seen you!!! We're over 'ere hun x

Em - you ok? x

Den - thanks for the congrats, I thought talk of babies might bring you out of hiding! How are you doing? x

Wendy - any news yet hun? x

Bern - have you gone on holiday again missus? I sent you your book back last Friday so hope you got it ok. Let me know x

Love to everyone, including those not mentioned and hope you all have a good day X