THE ORIGINAL GANG OF MUSHROOM ROPE BUILDERS (i.e Mel & Em's thread cont...)
FormerMember
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This is the start of a new journey for me and my much loved friends from the original Oesophegus thread on general discussions.
We have become a close group and this will be our new home to continue our journey as life has become very hard for many of us and we keep re-living our journeys with lots of newbies which puts us all back a bit.
So my lovely friends Mel, Sam, Helen, Bern, Jac, Nic, Dawn, Sue, Cath, Lesley, Jani and the many other special friends Mel and I have made over the last 16 months this is it we have a new home.
Love to all and extra strength to carry us through our next stage XXX
FormerMember
Morning Donna,
I'm on job hunting duty today. Have to update my CV which is oh so dull!! But have already been speaking to a recruitment person about a role. So onwards and upwards.
I would just love to win the lottery and then I can go on holiday, come back, get the garden sorted. Go and do some volunteering work and not be skint. I need to come back to reality!!!
Bloody replacement phone, flatlined so need to get new mobile too. Pants!!!! Oh, well I am going to go out and do some gardening now and maybe ponder doing a course? The world is my oyster now and I want to think about what I want for my future rather than jump straight back onto the rat race train!! I am realistic I need to eat and have fun. I don';t need to be stressed upto the eyeballs though either and working with people whose one focus in life is money.
How you doing honey? How is Paul? How is your wonderful son doing? Hope he gave that ex of his a good kick in fanny if she came bothering him!! Sorry, have to go to anger classes!! Love Bern xx
Where the hell are you all....big brother not that exciting..... All here is as usual...DH had bit of a funny weekend, spent Saturday outside, bit of gardening....Sunday was spent playing host and Sunday evening spent with a throbbing neck...yesterday not much better needing all his breakthrough meds. Today v. tired but up as usual before me....I hasten to add I was a very respectable 8:30 am!!!!!! He still wimpers and moans at night, stares into thin air with glazed eyes half open, half shut and is more ften than not involved in his own world. Its like he is shutting me and the children out a little more each day..... A new development though is the start of extreme night sweats....on occasssion I have woke up to find the bed saturated.....to find DH sweating... For all those who have been in this place before me, how did you do it? Sometimes I think my head is going to explode....I am so anxious....afraid to check him in the morning....afraid to check him as he sits on the sofa...his breathing is so light it sometimes is hard to see if hes breathing at all.... It is 13 weeks ago today since we were told he had a few weeks to a few months....and its mad how you count but you do... If you pray, say one to the big man for us....we no longer want a cure, but want peace for DH and strength for our family.... Thanks
I remember those days of being so frightened. You don't realise how frightened you are until the fear stops, you just sort of become accustomed to living in a permenant state of stress.
I found the best wat to deal with the fear was to just accepted it. Acknowledge that this is the most frightening place you have been on your journey, because now holds so many elements of the unknown.
You know we are all here for you to offer comfort and support, but you may still feel alone. In truth because we may all have had experience of your situation, we don not have experience of your thoughts and emotions, because these are so different for everyone.
We will always be here for you Jac, we are all tied together, linked by this awful disease, and when you need us feel the comfort of knowing that are arms are always open to you.
Thanks Mel.....we haven't spoke for a while...I'm sorry, sometimes it's just too hard to put words down....I hope that your holiday is fantastic...you deserve a break more than most I know....don't forget to send a postcard!
I have lit that candle for you. The one with the poem.....not asking for wealth, I am asking for peace. I pray you receive it honey. I know you feel stretched to the max. You have the strength for all of this Jac. Over the last few months as a family you have experienced some truly wonderful days together and when you talked about the memory boxes, I felt such pride in my heart for you and your family.
DH will go when he is ready and not a moment before. You feel wired now Jac and fit to explode, in time it is this determination and the special days that you have shared together which will give you the extra strength you require in the darker days.
As holiday Mel said. We are here for you honey. I haven't walked in your shoes, we have all walked our different paths. Yet I know you will get through this honey and everytime you think I can't...you do it. Strength comes from somewhere and the times you feel it isn't there, ask for it. Jac it comes to you.
I'm on phone #3 now, and don't have your number on this one. Text me when you can and then I have you again.
The candle is buring Jac. For You, DH and your wonderful children. Keep 'talking' honey. We are here for you and sorry not been around, I got knocked out with boredom of watching 5 mins of BB and only just awoke!!! Love Me xx
Oh my system drives me insane. Wrote a big messgae and then lost it.......
Back in a bit. Big hugs and muchos love to you all. Things are a bit quiet here and I don't think thats cause you are in Nic or Mels suitcases!!!! So peek-a-boo I can see you!!!!
I here, although it was very tempting to sneak into either Nic or Mel's suitcase. It is five weeks until our holiday and by then, l am going to need one as the little one breaks up on Friday and, as I have very little patience still, I just know he is going to drive me mad! Oh well, I have my friends here to keep me sane. If that's possible!
So, how are we all?
Jac - my heart goes out to you, the part of the journey you are on now is such a tough one and can be so very frightening. I would say that the only way any of us got through was by taking it one day at a time and sharing here with those who understand and care. We are all here for you Jac, you are not alone X
Mel - I know you will be on your way now so hope you have a good flight and manage to get some r & r in over the next three weeks. I'm missing you already my friend X
Nic - I hope you are having a good break away too. We will want to hear all about it when you come back mind X
Em - How did your weekend away go hun? It's strange on here without your posts. Hope you will come back soon. Big hugs X
Kelsey - sorry to hear your Dad hasn't been good. I can't help with your question re spread hun but know that I'm here for you too, if you want a chat X
Cath - I am so sorry I wasn't around over the weekend but know that it was the anniversary on Sunday. I hope you are ok. Sending huge ((((((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))))) X
Helen and SAM Sam - I hope you two are being good today, or is that just to much to ask for? X
Michelle - how are you hun? You've been quiet on here too. I know they are tough times, please keep sharing with us so that we can help you through X
Rochelle - some ((((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))))) for when you return from your holiday X
Wendy - it was good to talk to you again the other day, hope you will pop back on here soon, when you can bear to put that lovely little lad of yours down for a minute X
Den, Lesley, Dawn - still thinking of you even though you aren't around here anymore. Hope you are all ok X
Bern - ok, so where's my mail? Hee hee X
Right, the shopping needs to be done now or else there will be no tea on the table tonight. Will be back later to check on everyone.
Sam I am always good you know its helen that leads me astray and makes me drink all the wine. LOL. Its very quiet on here of late. Cuddles for all. Love SAM sam x
