For those with a warped sense of humour WARNING- no punches pulled here

Ooooo nooooo Hilary, I can't even sit on the floor. After RT I had problems getting out of cars etc. but that was both hips, and it got better after a year. Don't know why my right one has decided to go after all this time. At least it slows me down when walking though.

Today we went to hospital to pick up a death certificate and bag for somebody on my Mum's side by marriage. We were sent all over the place, it was stupid. If I end up in hospital at the end, I'm not taking anything with me!

As you know I've been planning everything that needs doing for when I go, but going to their house showed me there is so much stuff to do! Ah well, at least I can't die yet if I haven't finished :)

Lesley - that sucks so hard. Stupid bodies. Surely the least we should be able to ask of them is a lifetime guarantee.

xxx

Saw this and thought of Tim. As yer do:

xx

Thank you Hilary. Finding warped if no one has just replied seems to be arduous these days and uses more spoons than I have... so seeing it on the community page makes me happy. (easily pleased, I know) I was going to come on last night cos I ranted and I wanted to show you I was ok really cos I am once I have a rant, but didn't have the spoons to find it... and I had a funny thing to say and I forgot it now... oh bum.

I am trying to write this talk. I am also doing everything else I can possibly think of as well cos I don't want to write it and I am spoonless almost so not getting very far in not doing other things. I need to make myself see a point in doing this talk and then it would seem a good thing and then I would do it. Laughing is a good thing. Telling people why to send their kids to my school is not so fun. I would just like to say cos we tell them to stop and look at clouds and laugh and give them courage and that is bloody more important than billions of gcses... and if you only want billions of gcses then bugger off somewhere else. if you agree, send them here and let us get on with it... but for some reason, my boss wants specifics. and curriculum and stuff.. Oh yawn.... that'll teach me to tell him I had more spoons so don't give half my job to someone else and cut my wages...

I don't know what happened, I thought I was getting more spoons, but I think I used them up instead and yesterday was rubbish. I fell asleep mid post on my phone to macland and woke up 10 hours later this morning!!!  I don't feel sick anymore which is good but feel like I have been hit with my door.... Not very warped, but I don't have the energy to blog or whatever so doing it here.... And I am meant to be getting better haha.

I am officially crowned queen of procrastination I think. I have to give a talk tonight. I have to write said talk. I have been not writing this talk since Friday. I managed to spend the whole weekend not writing it...

these are some of the things that were so so urgent they had to be done right there and then...  to avoid writing it and by which I think I claim the crown:

I joined facebook.

I made lots of coffee

I walked round the garden twice looking at everything I could do in it if it wasn't for the sausages.

I watched next door's kittens

I texted ems.

I played on here

I went for a swim

i looked at my old house throught he binnoculars to see what that blue thing in the garden was (stalking your old house has to be the ultimate in procrastination I think)

I phoned all my relatives (all 3 of them)

I played words with friends

I changed the settings on my phone

I cuddled the cat

I slept

I emailed 2 old friends (as in friends from a long time ago, not old in age)

I am now writing a list on here of all the things I did to not do it. HAHAHAHAAAA

There were loads others, but I won't bore you with them all....

Anyone want to dispute my crown?

Its 12... eeek. better write it....

Little Myx

ps lesley, I am sorry for your hips but it does make me feel a bit better that yours were like that too... somedays I can't get my socks on!

Hilary,  I am doing the weirdest poos today.. how is my yin of poo? Sensible I hope...

Ok, better go and write that talk.... oh just need a wee and another coffee....

I've got Warped in my favourites. It takes you to the front page, but then clicking 'last' gets you - logically enough - to the end. It only uses about half a teaspoon. Mind you, it sounds as if you don't even have that much to spare at the moment, so there is probably no point you trying to write. I was going to shout and tell you to get together with Judy - it took her five years to do her doctorate although, in fairness, she did have a work-related nervous breakdown in the middle of it - but now I won't.

Do you have a deadline? Do you know roughly what you want to say? Do you take a notepad (a pen and paper one) with you wherever you go, especially into the loo, in case you think of something and won't remember it later? These are ways I used to get on with writing. But it wasn't technical writing, it was making shit up, which is different. 

Speaking of shit, I'm really not sure I want to share with the world, not even with Warped, what happened this morning, but yes, if you're having weird poos, it probably is my fault.

I stalked you on Google, btw, and found your school. Coo er gosh, posh! No wonder Estelle Morris comes to tea.

My blood transfusion is tomorrow. Hospital is arranging transport. God's in his heaven (or not), all's right with the world (only definitely not, Robert Browning, you idiot).

xxx

Hilary.........thats very good, have seen lots that I would like to post but just dont know how!! Think I will invite my grand-daughter over for the weekend and get some lessons . Wish her luck cos it aint going to be easy :)

xx

Nanny.b - I'm so glad to see you're feeling happier today! I wish life weren't so up and down - but I bet you, when I get better, I'll be back to moaning about being bored before you know it.

I was going to tell you how to insert images, but I'm on the PC now instead of the laptop and it doesn't want to do it. Don't know why, the PC is newer and should have more up-to-date software. Never mind!

xx

Oh god hilary, if you stalk the real me on google I sound like a right pretentious arsehole... actually I suspect my arsehole pretentious...the rest of me is not. That is why i sit on it. Shut it up. Actually, i don't sit on it much cos it hurts... anyway, I need to stalk myself on google now to see what you found. Hmmm. Its not as posh as it sounds. More weirdy tree huggy really. Don't let on, on here though. I may get found out and after some of the stuff I have said on here, I may be jobless ha ha.

The talk is at 7pm tonight so I guess there's my deadline haha.

I know what I've got to say, just got to make it sound convincing.... and there are 2 camps to please which makes it harder of course. I am also making up shit in some ways cos it is a pr exercise. I have notebooks dotted aorund the house but have not resorted to carrying one yet... I just need to damn well get on with it really. Its not hard. I would like to proudly annouce that I did start just then and have done 551 words. I am now trying to justify why I want to take them to Sweden for a fun holiday there in the summer (the class, not the parents, not that stupid) It all makes perfect sense to me... experience wilderness and life and fun and swimming and laughter and a mad country where they like teenagers and there are lynx in the woods and bears and wolves... but some parents want them to go to museums and look at paintings the same as every other museum in the world. Why go abroad to look at a picasso... we've got them here. Go abroad and live their culture... ooooh ranting a bit now. Stop it.

I also have warped in my favourites... which means

click on my account

click on my favourites

scroll down and click on warped

scroll down and click on last page

too many steps I say. You used to have one click on the left of your page... ah the good old days....

Anway, mumsy I am glad you up again today... want one of my balloons to keep you up there?

I am now getting nervous cos its nearly lunchtime so must write this talk....

see you, hugs all round

Little My xxx

oh and I do need to google myself. I am intrigued now.. ha ha Queen P strikes again. On the positive side, I doubt I will die in the near future cos I will just keep putting it off  and i reckon I can put it off for decades... so much shite to do, so little time... ha ha

ps forgot to say, good luck playing at vampires tomorrow. Take a blanket or something cos you get cold....

xxx

and did you get a lift sorted???????? I hope so, or I might have to take a day off work to find you. x

pps remember the non- sweaty arse strong pants that everyone was raving about at the poobagger's picnic? They finally arrived just now!

I asked for 2. I just discovered that they come in packs so I now have  2 packs= 6 pairs ha ha so if anyone suffers from a sweaty arse or has eaten too many pies and cares, let me know and you can have a pair... I of course only require them for their sausage holding in properties... :)

They could also double up as a tent if you fancy a cheap weekend away camping....

Now of course, I have to go and try them on... 

Anyone want to do a talk for me tonight? Or, write it for me... ? 

xxx