For those with a warped sense of humour WARNING- no punches pulled here

Hello!

Before I forget... Colette, hope the onco visit went ok and you got to the wedding... oh that reminds me... weddings. I'm meant to be having one of them this year aren't I? Oh bugger.. better get planning it.

Ruby.... I know all about pooing pants hahhaaaaaa I am the leading expert on it so whenever you are scared, just remember someone out there is pooing more than you- that should stop you worrying.

I also never knew my womble pants would become so famous either and to be honest I had forgotten their existence unitl you all started going about getting lobbed out of the brownies or guides or whatever. I loved them.  Good luck with the pshcho onco tomorrow. I really hope they help you and ooooh you are going to my homeland (big blue box) Get some Kaviar while there! All the luck in the world!

I have had a staggeringly busy week at school and before you all think all we do is have meetings...

Monday i had to meet with a parent of a child with behavioural difficulties who is insisting i take him on my trip where it is a sort of wilderness take responsibility for yourself type place.

Tuesday is my weekly departmental meeting with nobhead and mrs. Didn't kill them.

Wednesday was a meeting about this course thingy I said I would do if I didn't die i the summer... (seemed like a good goal to aim for at the time... hmmm)

Tonight I was meant to be at a big whole school meeting. My department was on the agenda with 'concerns raised'. I thought it was my and my bosses concerns aobut what a nobhead nob head is... but it was from the woman I was sent away on retreat with who I wanted to kill. She is mates with Nobhead and Mrs and wanted to bring something...!! . They shifted the time of the meeting an hour later than normal, so I played the cancer card and ran away home.... Arseholes. My boss laughed when he saw it and I told him I wasn't going. He said he might stop going too... anyway, strangely liberating to be at home with you lot but a bit unnerving knowing that they are talking about me. Waiting for an email from my mate telling me what was said.

Was having a giggle with nice boss about how sought after I would be at other schools.. he was saying he knew of places who would bite his hand off for me, and then we remembered the cancer bit and had a good laugh about how unemployable I actually am at the moment! :D Well, this is warped is it not?

 I went to see ems yesterday which was lovely :)  (except that I remembered how grim that hospital is and how awful the food is and made me quite nervous walking past all the beds on the wards on the way out about going in for my operation... (I won't get a little side room- not that hers is much to write home about either) That ems is one hell of a lady I can tell you...

Ok, I think that's enough dribble about my life - I am around but first week back after the holidays and just too tired really.

Mind you, after this meeting, I may be hounded out of the school haha. Oh and Nobhead told us that he was told by God to teach. So he is doing god's work... I wet myself laughing and stubbed my cloven hoof falling off the chair with that one!

Love you all and GOOD LUCK RUBY!!!! Go gettem girl! You can't be scared cos you've got us lot of loonies right behind you!

Little My xxxxxx

Good evening all,

First, I hope your Onco appointment went OK Colette and you enjoyed the wedding.  Did you opt for pj's 'cos round these parts they are an acceptable outwear, honestly hehe.  Pj's and rollers in hair oh and a pair of ugg boots are the norm round town, NOT ME you understand.

Good luck for tomorrows psychology onco appt Ruby and like LM says, just think of us loons behind you and you'll be OK - or maybe not thinking about it myself!! Fingers and toes crossed.

Thanks for blowing the tumbleweed away LM, i'm presuming it was you who wrote the title eh!  Nobhead does God's work indeed, well what can I say to that hmmmmmm glad i'm with the cloven hoof gang.  You have such a busy schedule, i'm glad you played a card and opted out of the meeting.  Have a rest, switch off and do what LM's like to do just for a bit at least.

Take care all and catch you later

Jan xx

Oh how busy you have all been....Colette, I hope you are well on the way to recovery and reading plans for your escape were just what I needed! Scraton, couldn't you have arranged for bin to be parked near to Nobhead's place?

Duchess(that's a fab reason for shopping at Waitrose!), send a few used rolos to those pillocks you work with. If Nobhead can bring God's name into a conversation about his reason for teaching then he ought to be following teachings.....starting with the Beatitudes! He doesn't seem to be showing much tolerance or love for others.

Great that you managed the Cariad sandwich. Give her a hug from me when you next see her. Also Hils, hope you are feeling better day by day.

Been hospikle visiting myself this week...but not warped...my darling daughter went into labour on Tuesday. Was coping well at home, birthing pool at the ready, and when they needed the midwife to come out....there wasn't one available. They had to go to the hospickle, and my gorgeous grandson was born TEN MINUTES later!

Things sometimes happen for a reason, and it was as well that he was in the big hospickle, as he has an infection from swallowing amniotic fluid, and also a heart murmur. I found it quite difficult seeing him with tubes and a canula in his little hand. He is in the neo-natal, although full term, but is getting stronger and is off oxygen now. I might be able to have a cuddle tomorrow. I told him that he has got to fight like his Granny!

Is a hitman available for other problem? She is the most selfish, wilful, sly person I know (after the FIL who died 18mths ago).

Anyways peepuls, must get emails sent. Have fun with your baggys, blue bags, and careful with them sparklers (Hic Hic! I'm never goin' to drink again)Jan!

Love and hugs to all the Warpies old and new :-) xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Whoo hooo! Congratulations Stinker!

With you as his granny... what's a canula eh? errr nowt I can hear him say...

What's his name?????????

Oh and I have a door and if I was carrying it, and  a certain mil happened to be behind me and I swung round a la laurel and hardy with a plank and planged her with it and she fell over and Cruton just happened to be behind me with her wheelie bin and mil fell in it and then....

I can see a plan hatching. And can you imagine the courtroom.... all of us lot in there all gabbling on...

Well, you see m' Lord there was this Room and I slammed the door and then there was this smoke alarm and well, I was...

They would aquit us in no time. Either on grounds of insanity or just to shut us up. Oh and we could all play our cancer cards too.

Job done.

Night all

Little My xxx

extra hug for ems being 'inside' and one for Ruby for tomorrow x

pps what's with the Duchess? Countess sounds more fun! :D

Great news Stinker     what will you be called Granny Grandma or what?    I wanted to be called Auntie but daughter wouldn't allow it so settled for Nanny....didn't sound quite so bad.      I managed to see my onco yesterday as opposed to her understudy for which I was very grateful...she is very easy to talk to and doesnt give out any crap.    She sort of defended the idiots who imprisoned me by saying they were just watching out for me and being ultra careful..which I knew anyway.   Then we got down to the nitty gritty  the lodger has shrunk by about 50% and there is no spread so she has decided to give me 2 more rounds of chemo...one of which I had yesterday so only one more to go....and then radio about 3 weeks after.But this is the best bit    she used the word CURE     alright she was only saying that was what she was hoping for and shrinking the lodger gave the radio less to work on    so less damage to the lung   but I honestly never thought she would use the word in any context.   So onto the chemo unit where I found myself sitting next to an eighty year old man who was in for his first session....he was bright as a button and very entertaining so the time went quick.....he even painted my nails for me as he could see me struggling with having the cannula in,did a great job,so I told him he could do my hair next time,at this the whole unit was in stitches.     No-one can take away our sense of humour.   Then a mad dash to the wedding,me putting on my wig with the car travelling at great speed and looking in the tiny vanity mirror to see if it was on straight,at the same time trying but failing to get the hospital tag off.   We dashed through the door just as the bride was about to go in the room......she stopped and told us to go on ahead of her....but the photographer had been told she was on her way in so we were met with a flashing camera hehehe,somehow I dont think they will make it to the album.        I do know which ones will though     the really funny ones of the groom wearing my wig at the end of the night    cant wait.        Oh dear I have just realised I have put on here what I was going to write in my blog    oh well saved me the bother.  As usual hope all is well with everyone   XXXXXXXX      Colette

brilliant news......Cure.......what a lovely word to see........

glad you enjoyed the wedding....

did you have your chemo at Blackburn......is it a nice place...I think that's where i'll be going for mine...either there or Burnley....

love and hugs   jackie xx

are you going to show us the pic of the groom in your wig...!!

I go to Burnley for my chemo..it is much nearer to me I live i Rossendale...and yes if I can get hold of it I will post the piccy XXX Colette

Love the new title LM......or Countess! You must be grandest person living in those parts

I'm a Granny.....and proud of it. His name is Adam which caused some mirth as my youngest brother is called Adam, and, if he had cancer he would fit on here. Such a laugh, but he lives in Australia and we only see him every couple of years. Hopefully Adam's health problems are on the way to being sorted and I will get to have a cuddle today. His oxygen levels have stayed up once they removed oxygen, just waiting for antibiotics to do their work. At least all the tubes have been removed from round his face....just that nasty canula and splint to be removed.

Think MIL might be in the loony bin before us. Shoving her in a wheelie bin does have its merits! Unfortunately the wheel came off Cruton's......

Colette, loved the wedding description and so glad that you made it. Best of luck to all on chemo etc. and hope Hilary gets a restful weekend

xxxxxxx

What a great couple of days it has been!

Shallot, sorry Colette, gets wonderful news including that lovely four letter word, wow you must be buzzing!

Louise became a granny. Well done to the mum too of course!

LM became a Duchess. (Was that my fault?)

Ems has got great biopsy results. Cracking!

Annie got no mets and no lymphs, amazing! (forgot you first time Annie, so sorry!)

Let's keep it coming! I'll celebrate with a beer or two tonight!

Tight Lines

Tim xxx