For those with a warped sense of humour WARNING- no punches pulled here

If we gag her then slap her should be ok.

LM enjoy an odour free swim and sauna 

Secret missions interesting

no more head tilts Odin promise scared that the wrath of hundreds of dead hero's horses serpents and wolves (minus one that is looking after  Hils back) may descend on my head.

what is next talk on you know you want to tell us dont ya dont ya please.

Hugs and spoons to all

Cruton/Scratchem

xxx

Wow this is such a happy place to be at the moment and long may it continue (apart from Ems puking - STOP IT NOW!)

Yes LM I do get paid for some of them but about 50% I make as gifts for family and friends.  Saves buying a present that I'm not certain they would like and I know they love my cake so it saves stressing and wasting money!

The above is a link to my latest which is for my friend's 40th birthday.  He's made on cats and has a white and black dog too!  Tried to insert a photo but doesn't seem to work!  :-(

Snowing like mad in Scotland they say!  Wey hey - here comes the sparkly white stuff!

Much love,

Nin xxx

lets make it even happier!

Sunny sent me a long email with all the gossip... mags's tumour is stable and she's ok. Sunny is having radiotherapy this month. It will buy her at least a year they say, possibly even longer. she may get some more to her neck if she manages this lot ok. whoo hoo to at least a year!!!! She was saying that she can onlt do about 2-3 hours out before she gets tired (!) I was thinking 2-3 hours shopping in Princes street is enough to do anyone in... anyway,

she sends her love to you lot and lots of it (you new people might not know Sunny, she left a couple of months ago and deleted her posts which is why the beginning pages of warped don't make any sense anymore) I am hoping she might just come back to us... she is a little bit tempted mwa hahaaa.

Also, I had a lovely sauna and got nice and hot :)and didn't shit in the pool (always a bonus eh?)  and P got a book about cats today and their advice for a dependant cat(of which we have 2) is get a kitten Ha haaaaaaa. Kittens!!!!!!!!!! He promised me one for my birthday cos I was in hospital for it and not a lot of celebrating going on I can tell you... we then had to wait to move house and now waiting for the woodburner to be installed etc before we get them.. but KITTENS FOR ME eeeeeeeeeeee!!!! :)

Ems is back home today too... :)

There. More happiness.....

 Hilary, I hope you have relented your silly pride or whatever it is and cracked open the Christmas morphine bottle cos suffering pain is a pointless activity. There. That's you told.

Today's track from my brother was Bing and Bowie singing Drummer boy.. more sniffs... bad cardigan and bad haircut. Oh weren't the 70's fun!

Nin, I need to go and look at your cake cos I tried from my phone and it wouldn't let me and I forgot just now and am typing but I am sure my response will be wow!

Snuggly winter cwtches to you all

Little Myxxx

Can't follow your link Nin... Ill imagine it :)

oooh wow! aren't you clever.... mmmm ooooh!

xxx

Awww never mind!  It's only cake at the end of the day.  Will change my avatar to one of my favourites! xxxx

Only cake? Only cake?! What is this blasphemy??

xx

Klingons- is that a euphemism Hilary?

I am having a lazy sunday morning in bed ha haaa. P brought me breakfast in bed and then came in with a huge cardboard box. Oh these are some of your pressies he says.. they were left in the garage yesterday and I just saw them. Can I trust you to not look inside the box till you get up and I can hide them?

Me?

Not take a peep at my pressies....?

eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee is it kittens screams LM cos you can't keep them in the box!

No, now don't look Can I trust you?

Do Little Mys shit in the woods?

THe box is now back in the garage (I can't lift the garage door up due to the sausages)

Yet again, another cancer perk. P has never really got me presents before. He usually says you go and buy something and I'll give you the money for it or asks me to tell him what I want so he can order it. Rarely have I got a surprise. Last year he didn't get me anything. He picked up a few things of his from round the house and gave them to me unwrapped. (he was having a depression moment in his defence)He also hates Christmas and is a real humbug. he puts up with having a tree etc cos I make him.

So he says this year I want to make up for 'getting you shit pressies for so many years'.... :) I didn't know quite how to respond to that..

about bloody time?

Yes, they were shit weren't they,

 Oh no they were lovely...my dear....

Get in !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Shiny things hahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

I am trying to get him a shed in time for CHristmas so he can hide in it... complete with woodburner etc. I think Max might have to help build it (damn you sausages, damn you) so he can do his bah humbug in it in peace and leave me and max to be very very silly :)

Hugs and spoons to all and cake to you cake loving weirdos.

xxx

ps Hilary, have you cracked open the Christmas morphine yet? Chin chin my dear... clinks syringes

pps welcome home ems xxx

Seasonal fun:

A friend just sent me these.. from Church Bulletins:

The Fasting & Prayer Conference includes meals.

The sermon this morning: 'Jesus Walks on the Water.' The sermon tonight: 'Searching for Jesus.'

Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It's a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Bring your husbands.

Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our community.. Smile at someone who is hard to love. Say 'Hell' to someone who doesn't care much about you.

Miss Charlene Mason sang 'I will not pass this way again,' giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.

Potluck supper Sunday at 5:00 PM - prayer and medication to follow.

And I managed to finally get the silly picture I was trying to do the other day...

Happy Advent Sunday to you xxx

Little my do you think P might want to join Mr Bah Humbug(my other half) in our attic...it sounds as if they may get on rather well .    I have just picked my Christmas present as usual, but this was by accident...all I said was .".I need one of them wheat bags for my aching joints".    Next news it was being ordered and I was told it would be an early present. I already bought the new handbag myself for him...if he dares  to ask if I will wrap it as well he may well be needing surgery to remove it .   Love the bulletins by the way XX

Ha haaaa haaaaa... Colette, Nice to see you over here agian...

Oooh lucky you! a wheat bag... they make quite a good thwacking noise if you hit someone with them (not that I would know of course...) At least you get a nice new handbag. Get a cheap spare to shove you know where - don't waste good stuff on that.. I should have some balloons you could shove up there too soon if you want!

As I was saying before somewhere, there is always someone worse off.. in the case of Christmas presents you could be my friend Sue. Her husband is reknowned the world over for crap presents. We all feel sorry for her and get her nice stuff... here's an example:

Birthday_ dusters 3 of them.

Christmas- hoover bags and a saucepan.

Speechless? I thought so. That is honestly it. a pack of 3 dusters. Nothing else!

P would ask me to wrap them if he dared. I have to wrap all his presents to others (if he ever gets any, usually I buy them, wrap them and write the labels on his behalf. Same as cards. I refuse to do it for mine though. I have therefore had them in sellotaped carrier bags or unwrapped... 

This year he is 'making an effort' with presents though what made my jaw drop was our son is coming home.. hes onnly just turned 20 and not really officially left home- just off volunteering... I caught P looking up guest houses for him to stay in as it would be a bit crowded here with Max as well and he needs his space!. I asked him how bad Max would feel if he came home and his dad moved out for the duration... P didn't get this at all... Luckily Mr  P Humbug is a better humour since I got cancer and we moved house (bizarre I know) so I could tease him out of it and make him stay at home this year.

I have often suggested to him that he go away on retreat or something until the whole ghastly thing is over. I would even give him it as a Christmas present rather than him glooming round the house shouting about the fucking tree and how much he hates christmas.... that would be too easy though eh?

anyway, hoping yours will also have a revelation too otherwise, lock him in the attic and get pissed I say

xxx