Hi all .
sorry but of a pitty post . So my mum has been diagnosed with pancreatic cancer she started chemo this week and is doing ok . My sister in law said about her having a couple of weeks off chemo around Christmas and they want to take her to a hotel for the night for meals and entertainment . I have said I’m not happy and thee is no “ Break for.a few weeks “ in chemo treatment she has a regime and appts. I was told that she has had various family members with cancer so technically she knows more than me ( Im a critical care sister , 11 years in critical care 16 years qualified ) I have expressed my opinion and it feels like I’m being ignored as I was told “ let her make her own decisions “ I broke . I have turned my life , my kids lives , work life upside down to accommodate appts , I take her bloods I’ve cleaned her house got alcohol gel and masks bleached the floors antibacterial spray and it feels like it’s all for nothing . I said to mum make your own decisions. I feel broken and tired . Im working a night shift and I’ve just bawled my eyes out. Am I being unreasonable, I know if she gets sick it willl be me at the hospital me taking time off work and me dealing with drs . I feel like I’m being unreasonable. Am I ?
Hi Mommabear and I am sorry to read about the challenges you are dealing with.
Having been on my cancer journey for over 26 years with 4 different cancers with 2 of them being incurable I know well the practical and emotional challenges of supporting a loved one on their cancer journey as my personal journey has taken my long suffering wife to hell and back……
I have no real answers….. but one thing I insisted on was that our family and friends ensured that my wife had periods of ’time out’ to get away from the caring duties.
This community is actually divided into dedicated Support Groups (Discussion Rooms) so can I recommend you look to join and post in our dedicated…….
……. support group.
This group is a safe place to talk to others who may have a similar diagnosis, treatment experience, to ask questions and get support from family members who are navigating the same support journey.
As for the general caring side you may benefit from joining and posting in our very supportive……
……. support group where you will connect with a wide range of members navigating the exact same support challenges.
((Hugs))
Let’s be honest…… what plates DO YOU DEFINITELY have to keep spinning?
When things got aggressive treatment wise between Oct 2013 and Oct 2015 (See my story) we as a family and our ‘on call’ close friends sat down and worked through all the issues…….. and looked at the reality of what was going to happen and tasks that needed covered.
We live up in Inverness but my 2 Allograft (Donor) Stem Cell Transplants were being done down in Glasgow…… me and my wife spent a total of 11-12 weeks staying down in Glasgow plus 25 round trips - 6000+ miles for clinics etc…… so family and friends had to carry some of the weight……. But we got there in the end.
Do connect in with the groups as it will be good for you to unburden yourself to people who understand.
Talking to people ‘face to face’ can be very helpful so do check to see if you have any Local Support in your area, do also check for a local Maggie's Centre as these folks are amazing.
As always the Macmillan Support Line is open between 8am-8pm (timings may differ across services) 7 days a week on 0808 808 00 00…… this service provides cancer practical information, emotional support, benefits and financial guidance or just a listening ear.
……. another ((hug)) coming your way.
