What would you tell yourself on the day you were diagnosed?

I would tell myself you are stronger than you think you are and to listen to your body.It will give you signs if you are doing too much.I didn’t realise how tiring recovering from major surgery can be or that recovery can have peaks and troughs.Also that you can feel emotional post op.What helped me was to find a gentle hobby to pass the time during recovery.I took up painting and drawing and genealogy.Sitting outside in the garden with the birds was beneficial mentally I wrote down 3 small things to do each day to keep motivated.I was recovering alone during lockdown so it was tough at times but I got through it.I felt a sense of achievement at that as my prognosis was bleak.That was almost 7 years ago.Jane 

Hi winkers60 

Thanks so much for sharing your thoughts here. Recovering alone during lockdown must have brought some unique challenges.

There is so much helpful advice in what you've shared. I especially like your reminder to listen to your body and your suggestion of finding a gentle hobby to help pass the time during recovery.

On the day? 

Put my affairs in order to make sure husband could manage and wrote a tearful letter to my daughter

Needless to say it was a tad premature but taught me one lesson....always be prepared for the world to be without you

A week later when my oncologist told me he would cure me I believed him and just got on with it.

I researched a lot on Google but I'm medically qualified and knew where to look and what to dismiss. I needed to know everything which helped no end. Imagining the worst is a cancer sufferer's worst enemy

If could go back to the day I was diagnosed, I would tell myself to ask more questions.

I had what was meant to be a straightforward gallbladder removal in December 2025. Then, in February 2026, I was told that the pathology results showed gallbladder cancer. The shock was overwhelming. I don’t think anything can prepare you for hearing those words when you were expecting to be told everything was fine.

My husband was by my side, but neither of us was prepared for that news. Looking back, I think we were both so stunned that we simply listened to what we were being told without really asking the questions we wanted answered.

The past few months have been a real rollercoaster. It wasn’t until I met my oncologist in June that I finally felt fully informed and reassured. He took the time to explain everything clearly, answer my questions, and help me understand my treatment plan. Looking back, I wish I’d felt able to ask more questions from the very beginning, as having a better understanding would have helped me feel more in control.

Throughout this journey, my husband has been my rock. From the day of my diagnosis to now, he has supported me every step of the way, and I honestly don’t know how I would have managed without him.

I’m currently on cycle 3 of 8 of my oral chemotherapy treatment, so there’s still a way to go before treatment is complete. Some days are harder than others, but I’ve learned to take each day as it comes, celebrate the small milestones, and hold on to hope..

My advice to me would be this: don’t lose hope. Ask questions, lean on the people who care about you, and remember that it’s okay to have good days and bad days. Take each day as it comes and celebrate every milestone, no matter how small.

Hi Dylan,Thank you.The recovery process was slow but I was helped through it by this community.Best wishes Jane 

Hello Dylan

It's taken a bit of thought (yes I know ) but in answer to your 3 specific questions in order:

* You have a cancer diagnosis. Stay positive, Think positive, you have a wonderful supportive wife and 4 brilliant children - We are going to beat this and life WILL go on as before.

* I should have joined the Community earlier. I should have asked my medical team more questions. I should have realised some "friends" were not friends. I need to advocate for myself with the NHS to push for meetings, scans and tests. Life is much better if you don't stress about your cancer. Not to put £20 on Portugal to win the World Cup 

* Friends and Family without a doubt. Realisation that my diagnosis was not the end of the world and I am very treatable. Joining the Community and receiving plenty of help from Community members.

i hope this helps.

Kind regards - Brian.

I was actually quite blasé about it on the day I was diagnosed. At the breast clinic (mammogram recall) they had told me they thought it was cancer and that it had been caught early and I would “likely have my life back in a few weeks”. From there it was a case of bricks being knocked out of the wall. Grade 3. TNBC. Vascular invasion. Chemo needed. Then later on secondaries found in liver. I think I would advise anyone to take it one day at a time but it’s certainly easier to handle developing bad news if you don’t receive it all at once.

Q: What words of advice or encouragement would I give myself?

A: I couldn't really say now, my first cancer diagnosis was over 12 years ago. You see, I was actually pleased to get the diagnosis of non small cell lung cancer stage T2aN1M1 and be told I could have surgery to remove my right lung (and adjuvant chemo). My reasons for feeling like this were:

1. that there was a real possibility that this might cure me.

2. over the few years before I had lost several friends to lung cancer, including my closest one. Then, 3 months before my surgery, my father in law died from it, I was scared at my diagnosis and the chance of a cure encouraged my wife and me enormously.

Q: Is there anything you know now that you wish you'd known then?

A: Yes, that I would go on to survive for so long (12years 2 months so far). It is an enormous privilege to be in this position.

Q: What helped you most in those early days?

A: My wife and my Doctors, I trusted them implicity.

I won't go into details here about my second cancer (prostate) diagnosed 10 years ago which, although incurable, is expected to be treatable for a long time to come. 

I really am a lucky chap, all considering.

Hello to everyone, my diagnosis day will be forever imprinted in my brain as a day of shock, confusion,  fear that just became overwhelming. 

The above emotions will never be forgotten, so I would NOT change that day for anything, as looking back it was the day my previous life stopped and my new life started. 

I'm now at 4 weeks into recovering from 35 radiotherapy sessions to cure (that's what the oncologist said) unknown primary and secondary in lymph node cancer of neck,looking back I would not change anything my whole team were brilliant my partner has been fantastic ,so my answer to the question what would I tell myself to do on that fateful day is NOTHING,  ABSOLUTELY NOTHING 

I started my new life,  and I have learnt a lot not just about cancer but about myself. The whole experience has made me confront my deepest fears and deal with them,

I'm a better and stronger human being, it has taught me I'm  a lot and in a strange way I'm grateful to have had this experience to help me find a peace and tranquility  that is the new person I've become. 

THANK YOU 

Thanks so much four sharing some of your story, Trucker61 

It is so good to hear that you became a stronger and better person through the whole experience. I am sure the words you have shared here will encourage others who have been recently diagnosed.