Worrying about my Mum

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Yesterday my mum was diagnosed with oesophigus cancer, we are waiting for the biopsy results still so it’s very early days. I cannot sleep as I’m so worried about the outcome. 

I know no one deserves cancer, but my mum is the most selfless and caring person ever, she did not deserve this at all. I am so angry and worried for her. 

I had breast cancer 3 yrs ago and know what it can do to you, I wish I could take away the road that she has ahead, for her. I have spent all night tossing and turning, why why why ??? Sorry to off load I just don’t know what to do and where to turn. I need to be so strong for my Mum & Dad. 

  • Hi  and a warm welcome to the Macmillan Community but I am sorry to hear about your mum’s diagnosis.

    I know from experience having been on my cancer journey for over 26 years that navigating this journey can be such a stressful and challenging time but talking with and getting support from people who have walked or are walking the ‘exact same' treatment journey, be it as a patient or caregiver can help a lot.

    The Community is actually divided into dedicated Support Groups (Discussion Rooms) so can I recommend you look to join and post in our dedicated…….

       Gullet (oesophagus) cancer

    ……. support group.

    This group is a safe place to talk to others who may have a similar diagnosis, treatment experience, to ask questions and get support from family members who are navigating the same support journey.

    As for the practical and emotional challenges of supporting your mum and indeed yourself and the rest of the family you may benefit from joining and posting in our general cancer……

    Family and Friends

    Carers only (if you are her caregiver)

    ……. support areas where you will connect with a wide range of members navigating the exact same support challenges.

    To connect with a group click on the “Bold Links” I have created above …… then once the group page opens click in the [Black - Click to Join - Banner] that appears at the bottom of the page and this will then confirm that you have joined the group.

    When you are ready……. you can introduce yourself by putting up your very own post by clicking [+ Create new post] or [+] in the top right of the group page.

    You can copy and paste the text from this post into your new post.

    It is an emotional time supporting family so you might find this Macmillan information your feelings when someone has cancer helpful as well as this link getting help with your emotions.

    As always the Macmillan Support Line is open between 8am-8pm (timings may differ across services) 7 days a week on 0808 808 00 00…… this service provides cancer information, practical information, emotional support, benefits and financial guidance or just a listening ear.

    Talking to people ‘face to face’ can be very helpful so do check to see if you have any Local Support in your area, do also check for a local Maggie's Centre as these folks are amazing.

    Do get back to me if you need further help navigating the community.

    Mike (Thehighlander)

    It always seems impossible until its done - Nelson Mandela

    Community Champion Badge

    See my story

  • Hi Lucy,

    It isn't easy is it? Absolutely horrendous infect.

    My mum has been recently diagnosed with Stage 4 Stomach cancer and we had that news just 3 weeks ago. Last week after a trip to a&e department and something looked 'off' on her latest blood test which was had to do before they were going to go ahead with the chemo, they had discovered that it had further advanced and was breaking down her liver, not the months but now just weeks if we are lukily.

    How could we go from a year to suddenly weeks? i feel angry to how this was missed as surely she must of had this for quite sometime and then its too late and i'm not sure if i have any energy for anger as its not going to get me anywhere! 

    I just want to say though that my story is extreme and your mum might have a better prognosis. We thought mum might have chemo but now thats off the table as well. But i know they have new treatments all the time.

    All i can say is stay strong for your mum, you will need it. I did all my crying at the start and since then have leapt over several huddles to make sure she has the possible can that she can do and i'm not just doing housework but able to sit and listen to her ramble as she is very confused now, and just hold her hand.

    Best of luck to you.

    Fi :