How do I deal with anger as a side effect

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Hello,

my father recently started chemotherapy for his multiple myeloma diagnosis. One of the side effects I have noticed on him is this deep anger. It flares up dramatically (and my mom is the most common target because she is his main caretaker) and then it cools down. He never apologises, I do not think he even realises how out of it he is when it happens.

Any advice on how to approach this would be great. This is all very new to me and my family so we are a bit lost.

Thank you.

Alex

  • Hello  Alex( 

    It's a hard one - speaking as someone with a cancer diagnosis and I've had it for 4.5 years, yes just sometimes you get angry - why me? why am I ill? why am I not getting better? why can they do that and I can't?

    It's about how each individual is and how they react - it's not personal to mum or you - it's just that mom and you are there and he's no one else to take his anger out on. He doesn't mean to get like that and he's probably unaware he's doing it.

    There are sometimes medical reasons why folk do it - perhaps they have an undiagnosed UTI - however if dad is continuing to do this you need to have a word with his GP - there's medication that can help.

    Be there for him - when he's in that mood remember it's not personal.

    We do have a family and friends group you may wish to post in and here's the link you need:

    Family and friends forum 

    There's also our Support Line for you and mom on 0808 808 00 00 (8am to 8pm 7 days a wee). They can offer help and support to both of you.

    I hope the above helps and you and mom have a better time with your father.

    Best wishes - Brian.

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