I should be grateful to be alive after undergoing Whipple surgery and 6 rounds of FOLFIRINOX but really struggling mentally and most days can’t face getting out of bed. Think maybe shock set in after all the chemo and I’m avoiding the world as it feels safer in bed. Seen gp and counsellor waiting for new antidepressants as current ones obviously not working. Just feel so hopeless and lost. I should be out enjoying life but nothing is helping. Last ct scan found 2mm probable cyst on liver which is playing on my mind too. MRI in 2 weeks to monitor. Just want my life back and to appreciate I’veSurvived so far. The depression and lack of motivation feels worse than the chemo side effects. I must sound so ungrateful but just can’t get out of this spiralling negativity. 
Hello Stephanie (stephanie845 )
Life isn't a bed of roses and as someone with a cancer diagnosis, yes mentally the journey is stressful. You've been through surgery and chemotherapy and yes there's still crap going on in your life but you are now "on the right side".
Our Support Line are brilliant and can offer you plenty of help and advice, it's a free call on 0808 808 00 00 (8am to 8pm 7 days a week) - please if it's the only thing you do tomorrow - give them a call.
As well as our Support Line there's CALM (Campaign Against Living Miserably), again it's a free call and they can give you plenty of help and support - 0800 58 58 58 (5pm to midnight everyday).
You've started the ball rolling by posting here - please do take the next step...............
Best wishes - Brian.
Macmillan Support Line - 0808 808 00 00, 7 days a week between 8am-8pm
Strength, Courage, Faith, Hope, Defiance, VICTORY.
I am a Macmillan volunteer.
