My husband has been my rock since finding out about my cancer on Tuesday but today he looks pale and a bit withdrawn. He's taken to the shed, his happy place.
I've told him he needs to slow down a bit as he's such a busy person (always 'doing jobs') and that he might find it difficult to do all his usual things.
I worry who's supporting him. He has friends and colleagues around but his family lives in Scotland and we are in the south. Our daughters live away from home but not that far thankfully but obviously are trying to deal with this too.
I know there's the supporters group but not sure he'd go for that. My sister has joined and finds it helpful.
He's very practical and has read all the info the hospital gave us but he's not a person who is very in touch with his emotional side.
Any ideas?
Hi Julie2468
I know when my wife was diagnosed how easy if was to focus on work that was normal and I felt in control unlike my wife's cancer that was anything but. I was quite good too at fearing the worst - and I could imagine things where life turned out rather better than I expected. Anticipatory grief is quite common.
I ended up doing a living with less stress course, it does seem just about every where we look now people are talking about stress so this was very helpful. A key element for me was being able to focus on the here and now and actually appreciate what we have. The session on conscious breathing was helpful too in being able to relax enough to get some sleep but also when life decides to throw a new curveball - that old saying of taking a deep breath can really help.
I wonder if you went to some support groups together if that might help. I got a lot of support from our local Maggies which is good because they offer a simple drop in service without having to make a specific appointment.
<<hugs>>
Steve
