Living alone with cancer

Hi Wayne,

Thank you for your blog post.

I have been alone all the time from diagnosis right through to treatment. I have found it extremely hard as I found I was  triggered by even cancer adverts after diagnosis which took me a long time to accept and deal with. I didn't want to talk to anyone about how I felt and meeting new people made me cry when I explained my rare cancer diagnosis. This is when I found creative projects very therapeutic. Learning new skills from the comfort of my own home made me feel less alone until I was ready to tell people without getting upset x

I was on my own during recovery from major surgery.It was hard and made worse by lockdown during the pandemic.Having interests helped to pass the time.I read,drew,painted,and did genealogy.Being a keen gardener I was not well enough to do anything other than sit outside but that really helped.To be with the birds and other wildlife cheered me up when I felt low.

I tried to keep organised to conserve energy.I was living in a house spread over 4 floors so would put anything I needed at the side of the stairs ready to take up or down.

To stay motivated I would write a list of three things to achieve that day.A small household task for example.

It can be hard to keep motivated on your own.Another thing I still do is to take before and after photos of any task which might be long,difficult or tedious.This sounds strange but I’ve found it helpful.I had to sort out three thousand of my late mothers research papers and was dreading it.Taking photos at stages of the sort was motivation to complete the job.You don’t have anyone there for encouragement but the photos are proof you are making progress.

Jane 

Taken me a while to find common ground and your advice is great .thank you 

I've only just received my diagnosis, but it's been 9 months getting to this point, and I have found living alone to be the biggest challenge so far, tbh.. and now looking forwards to whatever my treatment plan will be is filling me with dread.

Part of that are the practical implications. My family don't live nearby by (although they have been really helpful around my biopsies, coming to stay with me overnight). I am being sent for the next part of my treatment to my closest city, 40 miles away, although one of my sons lives in that city, it's still a bit of a logistical nightmare.. to add to the complications I have two dogs to think about too... and until I have a clear idea of the treatment regimen, it's a bit difficult planning around it all! Whilst I could go and stay with my son for a while, the dogs can't (there's a strict "no animals" rule where he lives).. in short I am feeling the need to have a better idea of what I need to arrange before I can really start planning anything... and I am finding that really difficult... I am the sort who just needs to roll up their sleeves and get on with things to cope best!

And then there's the emotional thing. I do have a long term "gentleman friend" , but he lives a fair distance away , (AND it complicated... !!) so I am struggling (mostly) to deal with it on my own...

I am an artist, so that's my "chill" and "happy" place.. so this is what I did.. I posted on social media, asking for help... (that also made it easier to make my diagnosis public in a "kind" way)... I asked my friends and followers if they would like a piece of art from me, which would help me keep focused on something positive, asking only that they covered the cost of materials and shipping> the response has been overwhelming, so I have more than enough "commissions" to see me through the next few months! I am now also thinking I may also ask them to make a donation to Macmillan too! So, wins all round! ;) 

Hello I'm Yeu-ing I have ovarian cancer even though I had a radical hysterectomy in 2022.
I've recently been diagnosed with a third cancer this time in the lymphatic system . It's inoperable because it's come back in multiple sites . It is inoperable . I start 6 months of chemo tomorrow.
I've also been suffering from depression for 3 months . I have been dealing with all this alone and feeling very isolated .

Hi Yeu-ing.. so sorry to hear about your diagnosis .. it's hard enough to deal with, but extra hard when you are alone..

I was wondering if you have been offered a support worker by your team? I was diagnosed just over a week ago, and have already been contacted by a Macmillan Cancer support worker, and sent an appointment for an initial telephone "chat" to see if I have any  concerns outside the medical stuff... the letter arrived with an explanation leaflet about the service, and also a "holistic assessment" checklist, designed to help me think through any concerns I may have, including loneliness and isolation and any mental health issues.. the appointment is next week, so I don't know really know more than that right now, but at least someone is asking me the right questions!

But also, along with the letter, I was sent information about a cancer support walking group in my area, along with a support group that meets up for a chat and an activity/guest speaker. So, I am wondering if there's anything like that in your area?

There also might be information on this site too? (I haven't really got round to checking the whole site yet.. just focusing on a few things pertinent to me right now) 

Liz

Hi Wayne I was the same though I have my daughter I found it hard to talk to her not that she was un caring I wouldn't of known what to do without her but she has her children and work so I seen her when it was my appointments time and only talked one the way to hospitals if I try to voice my concerns she would put a plaster on it so that was no help to me I have inoperable lung cancer and I found love of crochet I started making blankets for my daughters nursing home where she works it's good sitting on your own I think oh I would love to meet people start going out then I get put off because then I have to tell them or the would guess by how thin iam then some days more so now their is hope cancer deosnt have to be a death sentence I say now iam a cancer iam living with cancer and surviving the best I can I will be charging the bastard room tax shortly lol lol its not going to Rob me of the remaining time on this earth x

Hi I had breast cancer then diagnosed with metastic bone cancer, this was then followed by finding I have lung cancer. Living alone and dealing with this has been hard. Am on ribociclib and letrozole following SABR and all is currently under control,stiil stage 4, but do struggle with energy levels (non existence) lack of sleep. It seems to be one step forward and 3 back.I do have an excellent macmillan nurse and GP but still feel very isolated. Not a person for meetings so put on happy face for friends but do have occasional meltdowns and feel I am not always listened to but I know I am better off than some so try to stay positive. 

Hi

I  was diagnosed with non Hodgkin’s lymphoma mid December 2025 and am Midway  through my O-CHOP chemo and live alone. Even  though I have fabulous friends they live an hours tube journey from  me and I feel that they think that my caution around using public transport or going out to restaurants is me being neurotic and overly cautious, I have 2 chronic lung conditions as well so I am very aware of avoiding any risk of infection. My query is any advice on how I can make my friends understand that it’s not me ‘googling stuff’ it’s what I have been advised. I find it quite distressing on top of having to go through this unpleasant life experience ️

I live alone because I have suffered from C-PTSD for 54 years which stops me from forming any form of close relationships. I now have cancer for the second time. I am sat in hospital now after surgery to cut a GIST out of my stomach today. Will get results in the morning. I hate to say this but people say I am strong for surviving through so much long, I'm 72 year old man. I have no suggestions apart from don't be afraid to cry and ask for help.