Hi All, I’m new here so finding my way about!
I was diagnosed 11 yrs ago with dcis I was 38 I had a lumpectomy and radiotherapy and was taking Tamoxifan, after the surgery I struggled I couldn’t look at my breast for months , least 6 months I could barely touch it to wash myself, now here I am again with same type of cancer , and it in the same breast , I was told I can’t have radiotherapy as already had it so mastectomy and reconstruction would be my options , I couldn’t bring myself to read the booklets and pamphlets about the procedure ,but then I get a call to come in and see oncologist , he looked at me and said “ I’m so sorry I know your 49 but we can’t offer you a reconstruction due to my other health issues” , I have emphysema so struggle with breathlessness and reoccurring infections !
I was stunned and didn’t fully comprehend what was been said to me , my macmillian nurse reconfirmed what he said and she said we can offer you a prosthetic!!
I just can’t , I’m 49 , I’m still young , I broke down crying more than I did when I got the diagnosis,
Some mastectomy pictures come up on my social media and I can’t look, I can’t begin to think how I’m going to look with one breast , and this flat area on the other side !! Hospital keeps ringing me with appointment dates for the removal and I’ve told them I’m not ready to think about it, and to leave me till the new year , I go into a panic everytime they ring !! I have appointment on 14th jan , I go into a melt down as soon as the procedure is mentioned , I don’t want talk about it, think about it, just pretend nothings is happening is the way I deal with things, not good I know but that’s me !!
then I feel guilty for feeling the way I feel , I should be grateful that it’s been found early and that it’s contained , compared to other peoples stories I’m very lucky but I can’t seem to shake off this horator and dread I feel at the thought of losing my breast ! I just keep remembering how I was when I had lumpectomy it was like this thing was on my body that repulsed me and I couldn’t even touch myself or look in mirror !
is this a normal reaction!! Or am I so shallow in my thoughts !!!
please help
Thanks in advance
Hi Ljab and a very warm welcome to the online community which I hope you'll find is both an informative and supportive place to be.
I’m Anne, one of the Community Champions here on the Online Community, and I had a lumpectomy for breast cancer so don't have the relevant experience to share with you. However, if you join and post in the breast cancer group you'll connect directly with others who have also had a mastectomy.
To join, just click on the link I've created and, once you've joined, you can start a new post in the same way as you did here and join in with existing conversations by clicking on 'reply'.
It would be great if you could put something about your diagnosis and proposed treatment into your profile as it really helps others when replying to you and also when looking for someone on a similar pathway. It also means that you don't have to keep repeating yourself. To do this click on your username and then select 'Profile'. You can amend it at any time and if you're not sure what to write you can take a look at mine by clicking on my username.
"Never regret a day in your life, good days give you happiness, bad days give you experience"
