Hi l just wanted to say hello to everyone as l am new to the group and a cancer survivor of 33 years and wanted to connect with people who have been on cancer journeys themselves , we get a lot of medical advise and to be strong and keep going but no one talks about the psychological impact it has in you and how others treat you especially when you are then left with long term health issues which l feel l can cope with and have dealt with very well and to the best of my abilities
am trying to live a normal life but constantly reminded by society that l am different how can we change society to accept us as people
Hi Alcia4f5fc5 and welcome to Macmillan and the chat group.
It’s incredible to read you are you are a survivor of 33 years, and I’m sure your story will inspire many people.
I can identify strongly with the point you’ve made about the psychological impact of cancer-personally I found help with this was not forthcoming initially, until I spoke loudly enough to say I needed it. The focus on the physical aspects of diagnosis and treatment was always paramount, with no real thought in my case given to the emotional and mental impact.
I was interested to read your feelings that society treats us differently, so wondered if you could maybe expand on that? I am very different physically, inside and out after my cancer, but have not found that I’m treated differently to others, so I wondered in what ways you’ve experienced that? It would be an interesting topic to spark discussion and help us learn about others.
Sarah xx
Hi Sarah
thank you for responding . I had laryngectomy and oesophagectomy removal of voice box and gullet at the age of 26
l have learnt to talk without a voice box and readjusted to eating smaller amounts often
l have a tracheostomy also
I went back to work too , now retired , l live a active life joining various groups in the community that interest me
however over the years l have lost my family, my spouse because my family couldn’t understand and cope with the disability
l feel lost all of a sudden and l’m not sure where it’s come from l think l feel l missed out on the people that should have cared for me and nurtured me didn’t and it has suddenly hit me in a profound way
right now l just want people to talk to and connect with and just receiving a message from someone like l did from you makes my day
it’s just the small things in life l miss so much like a hug a smile or a coffee 
️
l do a lot of things on my own like go to the cinema , the theatre etc
l’m always an encourager and a good listener
Hi Alcia4f5fc5
Oh my…that’s a huge amount to go through at such a young age, and completely life changing. Thank you for sharing your story with us,
It’s very sad to read about your loss of family through not being able to deal with your disability. But your own strength and resilience really shines through with your active and busy life, and you sound very kind in your encouragement of others. That’s a gift.
I absolutely loved my job, but moved to England 13 years ago so had to find similar employment which I did like but it just wasn’t the same. I became a commuter, and discovered it was difficult to establish a new social and support network of friends. In fact I still haven’t, and being diagnosed with cancer only made that harder.
I’ve got used to it, but now I find myself in a different situation over the past few years. I’ve dealt with the cancer and am considered cured, but developed severe osteoarthritis over the last few years which has meant I’m housebound and in a wheelchair on the odd occasion when I can get out with help. So ironic that I survived cancer twice and am defeated by arthritis!
I miss things like going for a coffee with a friend, or seeing people. It’s almost coming to the end of the year, and I’ve only had one visitor come and see me this year, and that was back in March! I rely on long phone calls with friends who don’t live close, and with my family who also live a long way away. That’s not to say I’m unhappy with my life, far from it, but sometimes it’s very difficult and that can feel overwhelming.
So, I really appreciate the opportunity to chat and connect with others here on the forum. I’ve made some lovely friends in my time here, and I hope you’ll find it a new source of contact and friends for you too.
I’m around every day and always happy to chat about all sorts of things-I enjoy “meeting” new people and this forum allows me to do that without leaving the house so it’s a real lifeline for me. I’ll hope you’ll enjoy being part of it now you’ve found us.
Sarah xx
It can be a strange place to be, post cancer. Before I was diagnosed, I suppose I thought that if someone “got over” cancer, then their life would go back to normal, whatever that may be. I had no concept of the emotions, the changes physically and mentally….no understanding at all. So I can appreciate now that others who haven’t been through cancer cannot hope to truly understand the complexity of it.
I look forward to getting to know you, and there are lots of opportunities to chat with others in the chat type threads and cancer specific support groups. You can join any of the groups and get involved in any of the chats which interest you.
Sarah xx
