Hi everyone , I’ve debated posting on here but decided I just need some advice/help. I’m in my early twenties and my mum was recently diagnosed with a grade 4 glioblastoma ( brain cancer) , those who know glioblastomas unfortunately know the poor prognosis that comes along with this. When this happened I had the opportunity of a lifetime and was living out in Australia which I had always dreamed of and it was such a dream come true for me. My parents asked me to come home to be with my mum and help the load, which I understand was a hard decision for them to make and I completely respect that. However, since I’ve been home I’ve really been struggling with having most of my independence taken away from me and a lack of purpose and routine. This combined with the possibility of my mum dying and being away from friends/support system/uni etc has made me feel really lonely and isolated aswell as the grief of giving up an incredible opportunity. Most of my friends do not live locally to my parents and lead busy lives which means I don’t get to see them as much as normally would. I often feel such a scathing jealousy towards the fact that they get to live normal happy lives untouched by the likes of cancer when my family are left to pick up the little there is left of our life beforehand. I even feel these things towards people on tv I know nothing about!!These feelings result in me lashing out my parents or saying things I didn’t mean but obviously makes me feel a lot lot worse. I often feel left behind or forgotten about whilst everyone I know is able to get on with it because I just want my life to return to normal even though I don’t know if it ever will again. I try to manage my emotions by continuing on with my hobbies / exercise but its like I’m living my life at the moment with a little black cloud over me. I hope that this doesn’t sound selfish or that I’m making it all about me as I am so grateful that I get to spend this time with my mum, as she’s my best friend ,but I just needed to offoad a lot of complex emotion that comes along with this journey. If anyone has had any similar experience or just has any advice on how I can keep moving forward it would be greatly received. 
Hi Knittinggirl3b2985 and a very warm welcome to the online community which I hope you'll find is both an informative and supportive place to be.
I’m Anne, one of the Community Champions here on the Online Community, and I want to say that you don't sound selfish in the slightest. In fact, exactly the opposite as you've given up something you want to do to be with your parents and give them support.
As you know, the online community is divided into different support groups so I'm going to recommend that you also join and post in the family and friends group as you'll then connect directly with others who will know exactly what you're going through.
If this is something you'd like to do just click on the link I've created and, once you've joined, you can start a new post in the same way as you did here and join in with existing conversations by clicking on 'reply'. You can copy and paste your post to save you typing it all out again.
Sending virtual ((hugs))
"Never regret a day in your life, good days give you happiness, bad days give you experience"
