My Daughter has been diagnosed with breast cancer

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My 43 years young Daughter has been diagnosed with invasive breast cancer She had so far had a mastectomy sentinel nodes & lymph nodes removed She now faces more lymph nodes removal her ovary removed chemotherapy radiotherapy & hormone treatment. I try very hard to support her but live abroad so not able to be there on a daily basis. I am always worried that I will say the wrong thing I want to understand as much as I can & I ask her questions I try very hard not to cry when we speak as I feel it is then making it about my feelings & worry that she feels she is upsetting me. I guess I’m just asking for any advise from parents going through cancer with there adult child.

latchbrook 2 days ago

Hi JAG4bb14d and a very warm welcome to the online community which I hope you'll find is both an informative and supportive place to be.

I’m Anne, one of the Community Champions here on the Online Community, and although I was the one with cancer, I can totally understand how hard this must be for you right now.

As you know, the online community is divided into different support groups so I'm going to recommend that you also join the family and friends group as you'll then connect directly with others who have someone in their lives dealing with cancer.

To join, just click on the link I've created and, once you've joined, you can start a new post in the same way as you did here and join in with existing conversations by clicking on 'reply'.

We're all different, but when I was going through treatment I just wanted people to treat me as they did before, ie tell me their news, talk about everyday things, etc. You might find this information from Macmillan on how to talk to someone with cancer helpful.

Sending virtual ((hugs))

"Never regret a day in your life, good days give you happiness, bad days give you experience"

eddiel 2 days ago

Hi Jag, and a warm welcome from me, my eldest daughter was diagnosed 12 years ago with BCa, aged 40, and late last year with sarcoma of the breast, so understand what you're going through, and your daughter and it's understandable you want to do everything you can for your little girl, but what she needs most from you now is her mum, to know your there for her, to talk about the things you've always talked about, PS I have cancer, and switching off from it and talking about everyday life with family is so important to me. Sure ask how she's doing, in a thoughtful, non cliche way, it's annoying, and if you can understand a little about her cancer/treatment, to help with any questions your daughter may ask, that can help, but as for the emotions my friend, their absolutely normal so it's fine to show them to your little girl, we were told both times our girls cancer wasn't curable, both times she proved them wrong. Best wishes to you both for the very best outcome.

Eddie xx

JAG4bb14d 2 days ago in reply to eddiel

Thank you so much Eddie,

we actually had a chat today & I basically did as you suggested. We chatted about how she feels I asked about the procedures she has already gone through & when she mentioned something I did not understand I asked her to explain it to me. We also talked about every day things, work her daughters birthday & what they did we chatted about our kitties as I have 1 cat that traveled from the UK with us & now we have 5 rescue cats. Just normal chit chat & it’s the longest conversation we have had in quite some time.

eddiel 2 days ago in reply to JAG4bb14d

Hi Jag, if I have helped in any little way, that's thanks enough my friend, and wow, 5 rescue cats that's a wonderful thing to do, if I can help in any way please feel free to get in touch.

Eddie xx