Cancer Widow/Widower Club

Hi Frankiew,

So sorry you had to join us, baberton5 as said it all really.

Just take it a day at a time, if you cant do that at the moment, take it an hour at a time and be kind to yourself.

Keep posting, especially in the very dark moments....

Take Care

K

Hello jan

I have read your post and word for word feeling for feeling it could have been me that wrote those words, the crying,longing never changes,i'am learning to live with it but is so exhausting,trying to make a different sort of life is exhausting i like you just want to relax evenings with my dear jim like we always did together, day goes into night and then day, is this living i ask, no its an existance you go through time after time.

If and when will it get easier, I ask why, whyare we here whats the point in being alone i dont want to be alone i find it all impossible to cope with, i see my jim everywere in the garden which he loved he would be getting ready for the spring and summer oh how i ache for him i want to be with him will i be granted my wish.

love and peace to you xxxx

Yes, this must be the most unwanted blog to belong to of all those on this site . All drawn together in what we had and miss so much .  I'd like to hate it as I hated my Jean for leaving me , not that she had any choice , and classic feeling of  grief and loss we all seem to have . Great comfort though from knowing you are not alone, a sorrow shared in a way eases the pain some. I certainly have gained much strength from others on here .  Next hurdle, her birthday tomorrow .

HI wiljon

I agree with you this is the sadest site i've ever come accross, so many gieving people it sounds like you and your jean were very much in love, as i was with my jim. that love never wained in the 37 years we were married.

what will you do tomorrow to celebrate her life?  I will be thinking of you, i'll say a prayer for you both.

love and hugs,

  christine.  XXXXXXX

hi Wiljon

I agree it helps to know you are not alone in what you are feeling.  I have likened it to an emotional earthquake.  It shakes your whole being and takes you as low as you can get, and just when you think you are having a 'not so bad day'  an aftershock comes out of nowwhere to knock you down again.  Its so hard work and exhausting.

I'll be thinking of you today on Jeans birthday and hope you take strength from the happy memories you have of her and the love you shared. 

How are you doing wiljon, i've been thinking of you today. when you get through this emotional hurdle today you will probabley be exhausted, well you have the right to, it hurts deeply.

you do not mention family or friends are they a comfort to you? are you having any support from councelling, cruse can be a comfort, i know sometimes its hard to ask for help but this is not the time for going it alone.

thinking of you always

christine. x x x

We were married for just over 52 years but just 2 months after she died would have been the 60th anniversary of our first 'date'  this was always a more important one to us  though we had been eying each other on the school bus for a few months .  Thank you Baberton for  note on her birthday on Thursday, that really does help , to feel less alone. Also grateful to a freiend for hér p.m. in support for that day . They tell me get all the anniversaries over , i.e. a full year after the death, long way to go yet but it seems to help, ticking them off and yet the worst to come as we go through the next months then. 

Sorry this is messing me around and keeps closing the page, I spent the day in the garden as indeed she herself would have done and  where she would expect to  find me , admireing the tree I have planted  in the front lawn, whee I will join her one day again.. How can we ever shown our gratitude to each other  but by offering the same support as we have been given, I am so thankful for you all. As Ashbonse says, it does get easier , if only some of the time yet but we must look forward.  Thankyou all for your thoughts.

Hi wiljon,

you know i done exactley the same as you although jims birthday was in nov, i swept ,cleaned and tidied the garden..they do say your nearer to god in the garden than anywhere else on earth. jim loved his garden and spent most of his time there weather permitting, and when the sun shone he was a real worshiper, always brown in the summer couldn'.t wait to wear his shorts!!!!!!!

I MISS HIM SO MUCH.

love christine.  xxxxxxx