I have had surgery in june for breast cancer and had radiotherapy in August. I got married in April this year and hoped my husband would support me through everything. I got made redundant in may so I did not look for work as I knew I would be having treatment. So I thought my husband would support me financially aswell, this is very frustrating because I only have a small amount of money coming in and I have a 16 year old daughter from a previous relationship so I have to support her aswell.
My husband has not been particularly helpful in helping me so I have managed to get new style ESA, I sm grateful for this as it does help but if my husband was to support me I wouldn't have to ask for help from ESA. He does have savings but refusing to tell me how much he has, whilst its his business he knows im struggling mentally and financially and yet I have to soldier on,I feel like im in a one man band
Hi Berry
I’m sorry to read how difficult things are for you with financial worries on top of your cancer treatment.
It must be very difficult for you in your relationship not to feel supported, both financially and emotionally, but I’m glad you have managed to claim ESA to ensure you have something coming in. No wonder you feel on your own.
Have you been able to talk honestly with your husband at all about your worries and how you’re feeling? In my first marriage, I didn’t have cancer but I did have a husband who was secretive about money and I found it very frustrating-like pulling teeth to get information out of him. I worked then, and we both contributed to all the usual household expenses, but everything else was a secret and that’s really difficult to live with, so you have my sympathy with that.
I’m in a very different marriage now, where I feel very well supported and I no longer work so my personal income is limited but we share everything and do things together. Is this a first marriage for your husband? Maybe he’s not used to sharing things with a partner and you need to be honest with him about how this is making you feel.
Sarah xx
Hi Berry,
You can call the support line on the number below or you can look ate the following link to the support information
The support line can connect you to possibly a support meeting with Citizwns Advice for a full benefit assessment, unfortunately as your married then your Partner's income would be have to be taken into account, wish you all the best and hope things improve for you
Take care , Tony
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