My husband is waiting for his next scan and he’s retreated to the point where we’re hardly talking and he’s spending every waking minute doing the house up ,which sounds wonderful but I said to him it’s April ,by the time you’ve finished these jobs it will be Autumn and we’ve spent no time together all summer ,please can you have a few weeks off ,just a walk to the beach with the dog or a coffee somewhere .It hasn’t happened and now the nights are drawing in and I’m hurt lonely and bloody furious .Hes told me he wants to get everything done in case the worse happens but I’ve said I’d rather spend time with him and there needs to be a happy medium but no.I feel really angry and resentful .His scan is next week and if one more person says oooh you’ve got to think positive I’m going to scream Why have I ? Why I not allowed to be scared ? I’m not moping round or forcing it on anyone else but I am scared .I know people mean well but I want to scream 
To put this into perspective from a cancer sufferer’s viewpoint. It’s his cancer, he is scared and the only way he can keep sane is to keep busy. Of course you feel angry and resentful so take some time off with a mate. Go for coffee, the cinema buy a new pair of jeans, a plant from the garden centre. This time will pass and you’ll have your husband back. At the moment it has to be on his terms.
Don’t despair.
if one more person says oooh you’ve got to think positive I’m going to scream Why have I ?
Yes that! Yes yes yes! In the end I told people like that to B****r off! My proper friend did but came back. The ones that were just nosey and making there there noises didn’t and good riddance
Dani
Base of tongue cancer. T2N0M0 6 weeks Radiotherapy finished January 2019
