Finding it hard to cope with the diagnosis of my wife's cancer, I'm trying to get her to eat but refuses, can't get her to take anything, she does take fluids and protein drink, I just don't know what to do, she's starting chemo next week, but I'm not sure she will be able to get there, over 50mile journey and it takes a lot out of her, I'm just trying to hang on with everything, but she's just seems to be giving up, and doesn't want to go on, what can I do.
Hi Craftsman and a very warm welcome to the online community which I hope you'll find is both an informative and supportive place to be.
I’m Anne, one of the Community Champions here on the Online Community, and although I was the one with cancer, I know what an affect a cancer diagnosis has on the whole family.
The online community is divided into different support groups so I'm going to recommend that you join the carers only group as you'll then connect directly with others who are looking after someone living with cancer.
To join, just click on the link I've created and, once you've joined, you can start a new post in the same way as you did here and join in with existing conversations by clicking on 'reply'.
You may also find it helpful to join and post in the group dedicated to your wife's type of cancer as you can then find out what tempts others to eat. As you haven't said what type of cancer your wife has I can't give you a link to the relevant group but you can look through this list to choose the right one.
Another thought is to speak, with your wife's permission, to her cancer nurse specialist (CNS) who may be able to recommend foods for her to try. She may also be able to make an appointment to see the hospital dietician who will have encountered this sort of problem lots of times.
As OzStu has suggested, can you take your wife to her chemo appointment as you say that "I'm not sure she will be able to get there"? I know when I was having chemo I wouldn't have felt able to drive myself there and back and my round trip wasn't as long as your wife's.
While I was having chemo my husband did most of the chores around the house, although I had batch cooked lots of meals. Once I felt a bit more normal after each session I'd start to do the household chores again.
When you have a minute it would be great if you could put something about your wife's diagnosis and proposed treatment into your profile as it really helps others when replying to you and also when looking for someone on a similar pathway. It also means that you don't have to keep repeating yourself. To do this click on your username and then select 'Profile'. You can amend it at any time and if you're not sure what to write you can take a look at mine by clicking on my username.
Wishing you both all the best and I hope your wife can get to her chemo appointment.
"Never regret a day in your life, good days give you happiness, bad days give you experience"
