I know this is difficult to answer but any help/similar experiences would be appreciated.
Background - My mum was diagnosed with primary breast cancer with liver, bone and lymph mets 4 years ago. She was given less than six months to live. A year ago she had a massive stroke and lost mobility down one side and her speech. So she has gone x8 her original prognosis. She is a super strong lady!
one month ago - awake most of the day and some of the eve. she was managing a big bowl of fruit, a cookie and a small dinner. (Oh and a supplement drink), per day. A cup of tea, some squash and a latte also. She was also using her standing transfer every day.
3 weeks ago, she was managing a big bowl of fruit, a cookie and a couple of small rolls for dinner. (Oh and a supplement drink), per day. A cup of tea, some squash and a latte also. She was also using her standing transfer. Starting to sleep more.
2 weeks ago - she has constipation. Goes into hospital and comes out feeling less constipated. Is only managing small bowls of fruit and a supplement drink. Not as much fluid intake. Is discharged from hospital with a hoist just in case. Oh her edema is getting more noticeable. I have to buy her bigger clothes, even though she is barely eating. Legs looks swollen.
1 week ago - Is using both the hoist and the standing transfer depending on how she feels that day.
Current - has not used the standing transfer for a few days now. She can no longer eat solid food. She is only managing to drink a small smoothie and about half a supplement drink. She can still swallow her tablets and fluids. She is drinking most of a cup of tea, and some squash per day.
Any idea how long? Is this days? Weeks? The reason I need to know is because I am fortunately able to take about 5 weeks off work, BUT, I have to time it right. I can't do it twice. I would love to take the last couple of weeks to be with her and then a week or so after, to not have to rush back and be super busy. It's important to us both that I time this right.
I should add, she is under hospice care, but they don't really answer my questions directly. I know no one knows, but some help with what to expect would be appreciated.
Thank you.
Hi 6cats and a warm welcome to the Macmillan Community but so sorry to hear about your mum.
A journey in the family like this can be such a challenging and stressful time but getting support from others who are dealing with the ‘exact same' support challenges can help you a lot……. I have a completely different type of cancer and treatment journey.
The Community is actually divided into dedicated Support Groups (Discussion Rooms) and when it comes to the practical and emotional challenges of supporting your mum and indeed yourself you may benefit from joining and posting in our……
Supporting someone with incurable cancer
……. support groups where you will connect with a wide range of members navigating the exact same support challenges.
To connect with a group click on the “Bold Italic Links” I have created above …… then once the group page opens click in the [Black - Click to Join - Banner] that appears at the bottom of the page and this will then confirm that you have joined the group.
When you are ready……. you can introduce yourself by putting up your very own post by clicking [+ Create new post] or [+] in the top right of the group page.
You can copy and paste the text from this post into your new post.
It is an emotional time supporting family so you might find this Macmillan information your feelings when someone has cancer helpful as well as this link getting help with your emotions.
The Macmillan Support Line is open between 8am-8pm (timings may differ across services) 7 days a week on 0808 808 00 00…… this service provides cancer information, practical information, emotional support, benefits/financial guidance or just a listening ear.
Talking to people ‘face to face’ can be very helpful so do check to see if you have any Local Macmillan Support in your area, do also check for a local Maggie's Centre as these folks are amazing.
Do get back to me if you need further help navigating the community.
Hi again 6cats and I am so sorry to hear about your mum, my sincere condolences.
This is such a challenging time for you, but getting support from others who have navigated the same journey can help you a lot so do consider joining our Bereaved Family and Friends Support Group.
There is quite a lot of information in this link…… What to do after someone dies and many hospitals have bereavement services as well as Maggie's Centre as these folks are amazing.
Remember the Macmillan Support Line is open between 8am-8pm (timings may differ across services) 7 days a week on 0808 808 00 00…… providing practical information, emotional support, financial guidance or just a listening ear.
((hugs))
