Mental health decline 1 year on

Hi Ellie79,I’m 5 and half years on from bladder cancer and am struggling at the moment.I think this is not uncommon following cancer.Do you have occupational health at work or anyone you could talk to there ? It sounds like it’s suddenly all caught up with you what you have been through.You mustn’t be hard on yourself.Do you write down how you are feeling ? I found that helpful during recovery.I hope others will be along with advice and support.Hugs Jane xx

Hi Ellie,

I finished my treatment in June last year and I was also on the 'got on with it' mentality, I was pretty much like 'it is what it is'. My lowest point was probably a couple of months after finishing chemo, when I started to realise how much life has changed and started to process the traumatic experience I went through (but I didn't really understand how traumatic it was at the time). Exercise has always been my way or releasing stress, frustrations, etc. so I couldn't really do more than 10 min walk for a long time and I struggled to 'vent' properly.

I had access to an occupational therapist through work which I found really helpful, we talked every 2/3 weeks for half an hour, so not much. It was my first experience with a therapist. The insurance only paid for 10 sessions so after that I didn't look for anything else. I now find mindself having angry moments way more often than before treatment, I get 'mad' much easier, and then a minute of two later I just realise that I shouldn't be reacting this way. I work from home and this doesn't help much, before I'd commute and then have a semi active job in a laboratory, now I sit all day. 

I also have moments maybe a day every two weeks where I just feel a bit sad and frustrated by everything I went through and I worry cancer will come again and how would I deal with it. I do think at how long diagnosis took and how bad a couple of GPs were and that also makes me more frustrated, but I get over it quickly. I've never been to therapy but some days I think this would be helpful, I am just a bit reluctant cause I always managed to resolve issues myself or with the help of my partner. Without her I think I would have gone crazy already, she supports so much but I feel some days I am just too complicated. 

I've found being part of this forum and writing some blog entries has helped a lot. Also been in a few support groups online which have been great too to understand what other feels too.

Also another source of frustration for me is the feeling of having waste all last year with treatment and recovery and how I didn't have a summer at all, which when you live in the UK is what you probably look the most to all year round? I feel like I've been in an autum-winter cycle for a year and a half. So I am also looking forward to these longer days and the sun etc.

Hi Jane, thank you so much for taking the time to read my post and reply. I’m sorry to read that you’re struggling too. Thank you for your advice, I was good at writing things down initially but afterwards I think I just wanted to forget about it. I l will start to journal again though, thank you. I hope that you start to feel better soon too, and well done for coming this far. Take care xx

Hi Ellie. Our diagnosis does awful things to our mental, health 

Have a look at this.

After Treatment

Some of it may resonate. I found that an explanation of why I might be feeling down helped me in my darker days

Hi Ellie79,Sorry for the late reply.I coped well after diagnosis.It’s just been a series of stressful events lately that have made it tougher mentally.I hope things improve for you soon.Love Jane xx