What would you do?

My best friend was recently diagnosed with cancer, and in just 9 weeks, our lives have been completely turned upside down.

I’ve taken on the role of her spokesperson and advocate after she endured a horrendous and painful hospital stay following her first cancer removal operation. Both of us are the kind of people who need to research and question everything, but since she’s been too sick to do so, I’ve taken it upon myself. I’ve been diving into every resource I can find, trying to arm myself with any information that might help her.

Unfortunately, every piece of news has been the worst—whether it’s the variant, location, gene combination, prognosis, or lack of viable treatment options. I know Google can be overwhelming and misleading, but I’ve been careful to double- and triple-check the facts with the information available.

The hardest part is that I couldn’t—and didn’t—share everything I discovered with her. It’s devastating, and I didn’t want to burden her with my own unofficial conclusions when I didn’t have the full picture. Her medical team hasn’t been great, often drip-feeding her bits of information about her results. Now, with oncology scheduled for later this week, she received her full results via email today—and they’re as bad as I feared.

I feel like I’ve been carrying this secret, but the truth is, I didn’t know everything for sure, and sharing my Google-based analysis wouldn’t have been helpful. However, I know she’ll expect me to have looked at the results when I see her tomorrow. The question is:

Do I go through the results with her, knowing she’ll want my input? Or should I wait for the oncology appointment the next day, where a professional will explain the prognosis (however bleak it may be)? I don’t want her to feel alone in this, but I also don’t want to deliver such crushing news prematurely.

Any advice would be appreciated.