Telling Friends and Family

My son was diagnosed during the  pandemic so he told me via a skype call. He said "this has got to be the hardest call I have ever had to make in my life".

Hello HanSolo 

I know just where you are with that one. I have been very open with my cancer and it's been very interesting watching people's reaction when I have told them, indeed some "friends" have ignored me as if they can catch it by being close to me!!

There is some great information in this link for you here:

https://www.macmillan.org.uk/cancer-information-and-support/diagnosis/talking-about-cancer

Don't forget we have our support line - it's a free call on 0808 808 00 00 (8am to 8pm 7 days a week) - please do give them a call if you feel you need that extra bit of support.

As a Community we are all here for you on this journey.

Best wishes - Brian.

Hi HanSolo, from a fellow incurable, I am 30 months into my journey, and understand what an awful emotional time it was telling family and friends, especially my kids, who are all grown up thankfully,  I am in a slightly different position to you, as I have other serious health issues which could/should have taken me on a few occasions, so weirdly even with my cancer diagnosis I still feel incredibly lucky to still be here, and as such my feelings though important, matter much less to me than my families, and having died a few times, like you, death doesn't bother me, though im in no hurry to die, there's absolutely nothing wrong with crying, I do too, and I'm not bothered where either and don't try to stop myself either. I too find talking to others, especially those on the same journey a comfort. My friend it does get easier, you will find who your true friends are, what really matters in your life and how to make the most of it, telling loved ones about your cancer is an awful experience for all of us, but there is something worse, when one of your kids tells you they have cancer. Best wishes to you and all your loved ones,  Eddie 

Thanks eddiel, My mum and dad are still alive and whilst they took the news in a much calmer way than I expected my dad did say you don't expect to have these conversations with your kids. It's good to know you're 30 months in, I'm hoping to not feel too bad after chemo and immuno and that I can have a few holidays next year, just doing simple things like Norfolk Broads or the Scottish Islands.

Your welcome my friend, It's wonderful you still have your parents, and a son, family is so important, I am blessed with 4 kids and 10 grandkids, the best medicine in the world, 30 months in, a few bumps in the road, but still independent, so some time yet, I will have everything crossed your treatment works as well as possible and side effects are kind, and you get to travel, something we are lucky to do, never been to the Broads, Will that be on the water, that is something to look forward too, which is so important to us, we have been on 9 this year, so there is plenty of living to be had my friend, for both of us, our favourite hols were to the Scilly's, we went twice, the perfect get away. I see you find talking about things helpful, I'm always here if I can help, best wishes, Eddie

Yes eddiel, I got into sea fishing during the pandemic and then course fishing this year, I'm hoping to get out on a boat and find some places to fish on the Broads.  Got my appointment today for the start of treatment, it's a week on Friday. I've never been to the Scilly's but would love to visit Siena in Italy once more at some point.  People at work have been great today, some days are better than others.  Today's a good one...

Hi HanSolo, its good to hear you know when you start treatment, I will have everything crossed for you my friend, my treatment will be changed a week tomorrow, either HT or chemotherapy, so good luck to both of us.

Are you hoping to continue working through your treatment?, it's good to hear your workmates are so supportive, which will be a big help for you if you wish to continue working.

So your an angler, fab, used to coarse fish myself, my favourite was rivers and chub, though not for a long time, kids came along, im sure there are plenty of hot spots on  the broads, especially from a boat, here's to good days. Eddie 

Yes eddiel, I do want to continue working through my treatment.  The employer has made it clear I can be signed off on full pay which is really good to know.  I live alone (and enjoy it in normal times) and so ideally I can work and still have that lovely feeling of coming home to a peaceful place.  I understand though that until treatment start I won't know how I'll feel, I'm having chemo and immuno at the same time and the Oncologist said the most likely thing is that I'll feel poorly for a number of days after each dose, which is every 3 weeks.  If I'm lucky I won't feel ill at all and if unlucky I could be too poorly to work, that would be a problem so I'm just being hopeful at the moment.

Good luck on your new treatment.  I've been told after 3 months they'll scan me again, if the tumours are the smaller or the same size they'll continue the same treatment, if they are larger it will change.

Fingers crossed all round.

Hi my friend, it's good to hear what a wonderful employer you have, and i sincerely hope that any side effects you may get, still allow you to continue working, and being hopeful and positive does help, It's good for your physical and emotional health, and boosts your immune system too and it beats being miserable.

Sorry I cant help with your treatments, chemo will likely be my last treatment, and immunotherapy doesn't work for my cancer "yet", though I am on the incurable forum, where many of my friends have had some wonderful results especially with immunotherapy'

My partner has SAD, so moves to Australia for 4 months of the year, so I live the single life for a third of the year, which has it's plusses but I do prefer having Sheila in my life,

Edde