Friends and family support!!

  • 2 replies
  • 17 subscribers
  • 263 views

Following my recent diagnosis of colon cancer, surgery and soon to commence chemotherapy I have been left upset at the lack of support from so called friends and family members...I recently had one friend who promised to visit me and on the day didn't even turn up or bother to contact me to give an explanation. I've found it tough coming to terms with my diagnosis in my 40s and all the anxiety moving forward e.g fears cancer will come back. I try not to dwell too much on the negative thoughts and disappointment at the lack of support and contact from others but at times it hurts. At the moment I feel quite low, isolated and lonely and at times feel like there is no light at the end of the tunnel. Despite these feelings I'm determined to get through treatment and get my life back on track and making positive steps in trying to cope with my diagnosis and deal with the other crappy thoughts I'm experiencing e.g loss of confidence, low self esteem - I've joined a local support group and hope this will help and enable me to make new friendships and I plan to access counselling in attempts to address the other issues. Sorry for ranting but I'd be interested to know other people's experiences and would value some tips/advice on how to get rid of these negative thoughts. 

  • Hi Carlos80 and a warm welcome to the forum though sorry you have to be here,  a cancer diagnosis is a difficult thing to come to terms with and losing the support of family and friends makes it more difficult, but sadly your experience is not unusual, you will find some people have very little idea how to relate to you, they may think you want to be on your own, they don't want to say anything that could upset you or they are frightened. Give them some time or explain to them how you wish to be treated,  your good friends will stick by you. It's so important to be positive and carry on living and it's good to see you have joined a support group, talking to others who can relate to you really helps, and as someone who's having counselling I would recommend it to everyone. Carlos80 we all have down days they're normal, can I suggest you join the Bowel (colon and rectal )cancer forum for support with your cancer, my best wishes for your treatment and making new friends, take care. 

    Eddie 

  • Hi

    It may help if you join the MacMillan Buddy service, you can have 12 sessions via telephone and have a good old chat or moan about anything and everything you will have weekly calls from one of our volunteers and it helps talking to someone about your feelings and things you may not want to talk to your familly about.

    You or your medical team can apply and you will get a call to discuss and then married upto a like minded Buddy

    https://www.macmillan.org.uk/cancer-information-and-support/get-help/emotional-help/macmillan-buddies

    Hope this may help, Take Care

    Tony

    Community Champion Badge

    We will move mountains to help people with cancer live life as fully as they can.
    We'll do whatever it takes. For information, support or just someone to talk to,

    call 0808 808 00 00 or visit www.macmillan.org.uk

    Onwards and UpwardsWink Laryngectomy and OC survivor 

    Lead Volunteer for Hampshire MacMillan Buddy Service