I'm a complete emotional mess /can't function

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Hi Everyone,  Very recently I've been told my mum has cancer in her lung & lymph nodes. I can't tell you how devastated I am. My mum is my best friend. I'm not as close to anyone else in my family. My Mum is my world. I just can't stop crying. We don't know what stage she is yet or what treatments are available. If any of you had any tips to help with the emotional outbursts I'd be very grateful 

  • Hi I am in the very same situation as you with my mum accept the cancer is in a different place to your mums. It actually hurts the pain you feel when hearing this an seeing your mum sick so I really do know what your going through . I cry everyday thinking what would I do without her she's my best friend in the world . The only thing I can say is keep the hope ....that's whats getting me through at the minute . sending you lots of love and you are not alone in the way u feel and what your goin through always here to chat xx

  • Thank you so much for your msg. It really means a lot. I'm so sorry you & your Mum are going through this too. There's nothing worse is there. Has your Mum started treatment?? Do you have any siblings?? I do have one brother but he's in Canada. I'm not especially close to my Dad. I've never felt anger like this before. Mum has always kept herself well. Just seems so cruel & unfair. 

    I'm not married & not in a relationship my Mum is a huge part of my life. I'm sure your Mum is doing the same - trying so hard to be strong. 

    After,  I saw her last I fell apart in the car. We don't live together. I'm not working at the moment either. Emotionally I don't think I could tbh. I will do the best I can to support you through this. 

    Sending you lots of love & a hug too. Xx 

  • I hope you've got family & friends to support you. My closest friends are doing the best they can to help & support me.. I hope you've got that too xx 

  • Morning 

    Yes I have a big family and friends who have been really good so far I am blessed to have the. alone tbh . I have no siblings just me so I gave up work to help look after mum just giving her support really and she is due to have an operation in the coming weeks followed by wotever treatment they suggest . Again my mum has no other medical problems before all this an takes no regular meds so for this to come in out the blue is no short of shocking ...we are taking one day at a time keeping the hope and praying that this trestment will give usa long long time with her. Chatting on here to some lovely peoe with knowledge and support has kept me going these last few days too so like me you absolutley did do the right thing on joining here to talk xx sending you lots of love and prayers to u an your mum xx

  • Good Morning  

    A warm welcome to the Macmillan online Community although I am so sorry to find you here under those circumstances.

    The Community is divided up into various cancer specific chat rooms or forums and to get the best help and support for you and mum, as well as this forum I would advise you to join the Lung Cancer forum. There you will meet up with people on the same or similar journey - here's the link-

     Lung cancer forum 

    To join the forum, just click on the link I have provided and once the page opens up click on "join" on the black banner at the bottom of the page. Once you have joined, you can introduce yourself in the "New here - Say hello" section. You can either copy and paste your original post or put up a new post.

    We also have this forum which you may also want to join -

     Emotional support forum 

    Again just click on the link I have provided.

    Should you need any extra help and support there's also our support line 0n 0808 808 00 00 (8am to 8pm 7 days a week). No one should face any cancer without any help and support.

    I hope this helps, if I can do anything else for you please let me know.

    Best wishes - Brian.

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    Macmillan Support Line - 0808 808 00 00, 7 days a week between 8am-8pm

    Strength, Courage, Faith, Hope, Defiance, VICTORY.

    I am a Macmillan volunteer.

  • Thank you so much for your lovely msgBlush I've been to the cinema & saw IF it was a beautiful film. I didn't realise the story of the film. I've had my morning cry today. Do you live close to your Mum?? I'm about 20 mins in the car. I hadn't heard from her since yesterday morning. I was really worried. Are you sleeping okay at the moment?? I'm really not- night times are really crap tbh..... I'm really pleased you've got support. I've called the Macmillan line & they've been amazing. He even made me laugh - which was a miracle. I told him I can't mentally function at the moment & he said remember to not put your fork in the microwave!! I hope it'll make you smile too. 

    I've not spoken to Dad - since I heard. My parents aren't together but they're still very close. I lost my best friend to cancer too. 

    I hope you're having an alright day, I hope your Mum is too. Sending her lots of luck with her operation & treatment. If you need to vent - you know where I am. Lots of love & hope & SparklesSparklesSparklesSparklesSparklesfor both our Mums xxx

  • Thankyou so much for your message and I am glad you had a chat with macmillan support line also . I did and they listened to me and offered support and advice ....Between them and this chatting to people like yourself an others on here thats offered there own personal experience or just a bit of positive chat it just helps us get through doesn't it xx lots of love prayers and plenty of hope to you your mum and whoever else is reading this an just needs a few words of comfort xx

  • I’m exactly the same my partner has been diagnosed with bowel  cancer we don’t know the stage or anything yet they just found it in a colonoscopy. Don’t know if it’s spread treatment nothing. I just feel my whole world is falling apart. I want to be strong for him but I’m a complete wreck. So distraught and sick to my stomach so he must feel awful. I don’t know what to do to switch my mind off as it’s going to all the worst case scenarios constantly. X

  • I'm so sorry you're going through this- there's really nothing worse is there. I have never felt so angry about anything in my life. I have never cried so much in my life either. Thank you for your msg. We can try & help and support eachother through this. Have you got friends/family to support you?? My best friend has been amazing. I really don't know how I could have managed without her. Everything you've said is what I'm experiencing too. If you haven't already the Macmillan support line is fantastic, everyone I've spoken to has been very kind. If you need to vent - get your feelings out. I'm always happy to listen... sending lots of love your way Xxx 

  • Hi- I hope you're okay - as okay as you can be at the moment. Hope your Mum is okay too. Today is the 1st time I've seen Mum & haven't cried. I really hope it means I'm getting strongerThumbsupits very much one day at a time.... My best friend has been amazing with me & I've spoken to my brother too. Really hope you're both alright... There are some people I've had to shut out- because they just haven't been supportive basically. I've really realised who is there for me... Please msg me anytime - lots of love xxx