Broken Hearted

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I’m a 39 yr old female. My father left so I only grew up with my mom. And I love her fiercely! I have two amazing daughters and a great husband. 
But I am struggling 

Mom was diagnosed in 2017 w stage 2 lung cancer, she had the very invasive lobectomy surgery and swore off surgery after that. She lived with us for 6 months following the surgery. And I was proud to take care of her.
Now we just found out she has kidney cancer. She refuses treatment and told me told she’s considering stopping her heart medicine which she certainly needs as she’s a CHF patient and has Afib.
I have always been respectful of her healthcare decisions but I’m really struggling with accepting this. Her health is not real great but I want her to try.

I feel like I’m maybe being selfish and she just wants to go but I also feel like she’s being selfish by not fighting.

Im truly struggling. 
Any advice would be greatly appreciated. 

  • Hi  and a very warm welcome to the online community which I hope you'll find is both an informative and supportive place to be.

    I'm sorry to read that your mum has recently been diagnosed with kidney cancer and has decided not to have treatment. I can totally understand why you're feeling upset.

    As the online community is divided into different support forums I'm going to recommend that you join either the carers only forum, if you are your mum's carer, or the family and friends forum if you're not her carer. Both forums are great places to share your emotions and talk to others in a similar position.

    To join, just click on the link I've created and, once you've joined, you can start a new post in the same way as you did here and join in with existing conversations by clicking on 'reply'.

    It would be great if you could put something about your mum's diagnosis and treatment to date into your profile as it really helps others when replying to you and also when looking for someone on a similar pathway. It also means that you don't have to keep repeating yourself. To do this click on your username and then select 'Profile'. You can amend it at any time and if you're not sure what to write you can take a look at mine by clicking on my username.

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     "Never regret a day in your life, good days give you happiness, bad days give you experience"

  • Yeah I am her care taker but I need advice quickly I’m really struggling so if you could put me in the proper section I’d really appreciate it

  • Hi again

    You just need to click on the green bold writing above which says "carers only forum". That will then take you there.

    Community Champion Badge

     "Never regret a day in your life, good days give you happiness, bad days give you experience"