Oral Sex

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Hello,

I'm recovering from Head & Neck cancer and had a partial mandibulectomy and neck dissection in Dec 23. I also lost 5 teeth. No radiation as yet, unless the cancer returns. My neck  flap has been made into new 'gum' and I can't have dentures until at least the end of this year (24).

I have seen nothing on  this type of cancer and relationships and I'm fine with being open and identifiable, if it helps anyone.

So, obviously the first few weeks, kissing was out as bottom lip (and chin) completely numb, swollen 'gum' and internal stitching in mouth as well as 40 stitches in my neck. This was tough as we are a passionate couple who love kissing as well as a very healthy love life, lucky us!

After a couple of months we managed to get back to almost full-on kissing, just got to be a bit careful but there was full enjoyment of mind and body. The same with oral sex, as long as care is taken with depth and speed, it is all good. There are some funny noises though with the space the missing teeth have caused but if anything, that adds to the sexiness.

So, your sex life and wonderful kissing isn't necessarily over once you have had oral surgery, it just takes time and tender, loving care.

All the best to anyone going through this.

  • Hi Cazzita25, saw you reacted to my post on, sex and cancer and though i would offer a little support, though our cancers were different as are our genders, we share a love for an active and loving sex life, and both went through some difficult times when because of cancer our sex life's though not over were not as full as we would wish for and i would like to join you in saying to others there is a way through cancer to a full, active and loving sex life. Cazzita thank you for being so open and sharing your journey and i hope you make a full recovery. PS when you get your new dentures are you going to miss the funny noises, best wishes to you both,

    Eddie

  • Hello Eddie and thank you for replying.

    Yes, I also hope to make a full recovery and probably will miss the funny noises! Let's face it, sex can be pretty hilarious anyway. I can always remove my dentures if I miss the noise!

    Great to be so open, sex and intimacy are very important to us, but I realise not everyone would agree with that. I guess I just want to go back to being as normal as possible before I had the cancer and that includes full intimacy. Having the right partner also helps of course.

    Wishing you all the very best too Eddie, for a full recovery forever and a fulfilling and loving life.

    All the very best.

    Cazzita25

  • Hi Cazzita25, I am happy to accept your friend request,

    Eddie

  • Thanks Eddie. I read your profile, I'm so sorry to hear all that you have gone through, cancer really is a horrible disease. How are you going these days?

  • Hi Cazzita, i am doing really well. Though a little Aussie sunshine would be nice, Never been to Aus but my partner goes every year November to March has SAD really bad. she has a sister near Sydney, hoping to go with her this year. How's your day been, please don't say it's too hot to go out during the day, take care, both of you.

    Eddie xx

  • Oh, I don't blame your partner, I love escaping the winters. Hope you get to go, Sydney is a great place to visit. In Adelaide today it's been quite a cool and breezy day, only 22 degrees, definitely becoming quite autumnal now and dark far too early. I didn't wake up until 1pm as didn't sleep well at all. Cancer has affected my sleep at times but think I will sleep well tonight, fingers crossed!

    Have a fab weekend. Slight smile

  • Sheila my partner couldn't go to Australia during lockdown and she was an emotional wreck and as much as i miss her when she's away, i know it's the best place for her, though 18 weeks without a cuddle can be tough, only 22 degree, we haven't had 20 degrees for 6 months, sorry to hear you have problems sleeping, i know how tough it is on you, and  the middle of the night is not a place for happy thoughts, hopefully the COLD weather your having may help you sleep, take care.

    Eddie xx