Hi
I'm new to the site/forum. I'm not sure totally where to start. I'm full of mixed emotions, questions that I can't seem to answer, aswell as being emotional. My mum visited doctors approx 8 weeks before Xmas telling them she was in pain and said something wasn't right, every time they sent her with cream. She then ended up at a and e a week before Xmas where they said she had an absess in the back passage. They eventually told us it was cancer, she then was sent home 3 says before Xmas. She went for an appointment on 2nd Jan and she was still in so much pain the consultant told us it was anal cancer and what they were going to do. She was admitted there and than as an emergency. She now had a colostomy bag fitted she was going to be sent home today but she still is in pain in her stomach but hopefully that will calm down so she can come home.
It has really shocked us, I never been so angry and upset both together. I took it out on a email to the doctors as they left her dealing with it. Now I'm trying to sort everything out for her so she doesn't need to worry about anything but I don't have a clue where I go, or who to speak to. She has to have chemo and radiation therapy, she got to go to a different hospital to have a pet scan. I been told by different people different things like we can get a blue badge, I can apply for pip or Attendance allowance and other bits for her. I'm so confused with it all, I want to be there for her but I haven't a clue what I'm doing.
I must admit I am struggling to come to terms with it all, I tried to be strong for her and my kids but I'm struggle with my mental health aswell so just getting a little overwhelmed with it all.
Sorry for the long introduction
Hi Stitch 0206 and a very warm welcome to the Macmillan Community but sorry to hear about your mum’s diagnosis.
A cancer diagnosis in the family can be such a challenging and stressful time but getting support from others who are dealing with the ‘exact same' cancer type and support challenges will help a lot (I have a totally different type of cancer)
As you can see the Community is divided into dedicated Cancer Support Groups (Discussion Rooms) so can I recommend you join and post in our dedicated Anal cancer support group. This is a safe place to talk to others who may have a similar diagnosis, treatment experience, to ask questions and get support from family members who are navigating the same support journey.
As for the practical and emotional challenges of supporting your mum you may benefit from joining and posting in our Carers only support group where you will connect with others navigating the exact same support challenges.
To connect with a group click on the “Bold Italic Links” I have created above then once the group page opens click on “Click to Join” when the black banner appears or “Join” under “Group Tools” (this all depends on the device you are using)
You can then put up your own post when you’re ready by clicking “+new” or “+” in the top right next to the group title. You can copy and paste the text from this post into your new post.
It is an emotional time supporting family so you might find this Macmillan information your feelings when someone has cancer helpful as well as this link getting help with your emotions.
It’s a challenging time for you so you may want to use the Macmillan Support Line is open 8am-8pm (timings may differ across services) 7 days a week on 0808 808 00 00. This service provides cancer information, practical information, emotional support, benefits/financial guidance or just a listening ear.
We also have our Ask an Expert section but do allow a few working days for a reply.
Talking to people face to face can be very helpful so do check to see if you have any Local Macmillan Support in your area, do also check for a local Maggie's Centre as these folks are amazing and support all the family.
Do get back to me if you need further help navigating the community.
