This is my first post on this forum. I suppose im looking for an answer or at least some advice. Not Medical as i know that isn’t what this is all about. Maybe just need a sympathetic read.
My journey started around 3 weeks ago. I went to the toilet and had a bowel movement. When i got up I noticed blood on the toilet paper. I looked in in the bowl and that looked its normal brown colour. (Im on statins which for me made my poo a kinda orange, brown colour) However on the paper. it was a not so pretty mix of brown and red. Thinking about what i ate last couple of days before. After i had a little panic, I put it down to that. Still a little scared. I do suffer quite badly with anxiety. I have been into therapy which helped but once im going into a blind panic nothing stops me.So i thought i would wait till the next day trying not to eat anything that had a hint of red in its colour. Next day came. Once again. Blood on the toilet paper. But the contents of the bowl all looked normal. Of course, by now I’m getting really scared. Never use Dr Google. Hes a real doom bringer. I went to see my doctor (Emergency appointment) The did the rectal examination. and couldn’t find anything wrong. But on the plus side also never found any blood. Which was relief. Asked me the questions. Tired, Weight loss, abdominal pains, Bowl movement times etc. To which im am all pretty as i always have been. So said to me it was maybe a one off and sent me away saying. If it happens again come back.
Anyway. a week has passed It has started again. Of course, by now I’m convinced in my own mind I have cancer. So went back to the doctors. Couldn’t get an appointment this time but did get a call back... Of course, im in a real mess by now. I love my life and really do not want it to end prematurely. Which does make it worse. Got a call from someone at the doctors. Asked me the questions again. but this time also asked me what colour it was. Well, it’s a kind of maroon. So, she has put it down to haemorrhoids and has given me some suppositories. I did ask about a fit test and maybe taking my bloods. But i only had them done a few months back along with an abdominal ultrasound for another problem I had. So was told it’s not something they wouldn’t do unless i have other symptoms. Which don’t help me much but i can at least take some comfort that they were done just a couple of months ago and came back normal. On a good note. she did make me feel better. But i still have that fear a little. I haven’t eaten properly for two days. just with the worry. I’m going to try and eat tonight. But i don’t really fancy anything. However, i have to eat something Im a 57-year-old woman and as far as i know there’s no history of cancer of any kind in my family.
I do not suppose anyone can help me with my anxiety. But i really would like someone to maybe reply with some words of wisdom even kind words will do. I would call the cancer support line but im just so scared that I’m perhaps wasting peoples time if its just Haemorrhoids.
Hi Abi S and a very warm welcome to the online community which I hope you'll find is both an informative and supportive place to be.
It's natural to be scared when you have unexplained symptoms but it does sound like your GP is being thorough.
As you know, the online community is divided into different support forums so I'm going to recommend that you also join and post in the bowel cancer forum as you'll then connect directly with others who may have had similar issues.
To join, just click on the link I've created and, once you've joined, you can start a new post in the same way as you did here and join in with existing conversations by clicking on 'reply'.
"Never regret a day in your life, good days give you happiness, bad days give you experience"
