After moving my Mother in Law into our house for Palliative care for end stage multiple myeloma, my father in law is now pre diagnosis for oesophageal cancer with mets. So also living with us. As he is pre diagnoses we currently don’t have any support. He’s close to the end I think. The hospital was suggesting there was a possibility of palliative chemo but can’t start any kind of treatment/support until a proper diagnosis. Apparently they are still trying to decide if he is going to be dealt with by upper GI or urology. The waiting game is driving us all mad. I don’t think he will be strong enough for any kind of medical help beyond keeping his pain under control. He sleeps probably 20 hrs a day, eats next to nothing beyond the 2 Fresbuin drinks he’s prescribed. Now my issue, and obviously it is my issue, he sleeps all day in the living room next to his wife who is doing amazing, can’t do much for herself but is awake most of the day and has a great attitude to her situation. it is making me uncomfortable being in my own home, feel like I’m creeping around trying not to disturb him. If I sit down for a while for a break I feel like I’m sitting in a bloody nursing home. I in now way want to move them into a nursing home and they will be with us until we can no longer cope with their care. I’m not sure where I’m going with this tbh I think I just wanted to write it down coz it’s bloody hard.
Sorry to read about the significant challenges you are having to deal with…… this is a hard time for you.
I am the one with the incurable blood cancer so don’t have the care experience that can help and support you but let’s look for other group members to come along with their experiences.
Do remember that you will connect with a Marge group of carers in both our Carers only and Supporting someone with incurable cancer support groups.
The Macmillan Support Line is open 8am-8pm (timings may differ across services) 7 days a week on 0808 808 00 00. where you can get practical information, emotional support, benefits/financial guidance or just a listening ear ((hugs))
