Father has Bladder cancer

I read so many articles online about bladder cancer and getting different information - that its serious and difficult if its invasive and also that it can be cured if its non-invasive! 

I keep convincing myself that it is not serious - but the reality of how serious or not is unknown; 

I am extremely angry at him when I speak to him and can't control my emotion - somehow thinking that had he looked after himself this wouldn't have happened even though knowing that cancer can happen to anybody (he has never smoked or drank alcohol ever in his life!)

Hi Anon_for_patient

I’m so sorry to hear that your father has been diagnosed with bladder cancer. I know how tempting it is when you first hear the word cancer to read everything you can Google everything you can and have good and bad scenarios filling your thoughts. It is a complete shock but time will help you process your thoughts. Everyone reacts in a different way to the news. One of the worst parts for me was telling my two sons because I didn’t want them to worry I think that’s natural for a parent and probably how your father is feeling. It’s a shame your father is overseas that must be horrible for you! As far as the cancer is concerned there is no point in making any assumptions good or bad until you have the full picture of the type and stage of the disease . When you have this information you will be able to ask questions and find out what the treatment plan will be . Treatment for cancer is improving so quickly. I was a radiotherapy radiographer 30 years ago and my job was to treat patients with cancer. Now I’m a patient myself I cannot believe the advances that have been made in the treatment methods and the survival rates it is incredible. In the meantime until you find out exactly what is going on make sure you look after yourself too that will be very important for your Dad to hear. 

Keep strong 

Hi Anon_for_patient so sorry to hear about your father.

Could I suggest that you join and post in both our Bladder cancer support group but also our Family and friends group as this will connect you with others with experience of going through treatment but also you may connect with others who are dealing with the challenges of having family go through treatment in another country. 

Thanks both.

The second Cystcopy finished today. 

Doctor says that he couldn't find anything as far he can see but only biopsy can tell. 

It will be five days before we know the result.

Thanks again and I will look at the Bladder Cancer forum you mentioned.

Hi My Partner is going through bladder cancer. He's had one kidney removed, because the cancer was in his urether, chemotherapy, radiotherapy, BCG, and now looking at the latest treatment.

the worst downside, is a reduced bladder, constantly needing to pee, and regular infections. But we are on the ball, now that i'm attending clinics with him. It helps tohave someone else present to take notes, as 'men' and anyone talking with their consultant don't always noted down the important facts. I'm rare in that i always have a notebook at my consultations... yes i have my own cancer.

I have found spending time with animal especially my friends horse has helped me. But equally Other pets just know.

Feel free to ask me, and if we have done that, i will reply. keep positive and lokk to and plan your days in advance, days out etc.

Hope this helps