Almost exactly 9 years ago my dad died from licer cancer. Now my mom has suspected liver cancer. I'm being strong in front of her but I'm falling apart once I leave her. How is this fair? She's lived such a healthy life and is just the best person. She helps everybody, from elderly people tp a church toddler group, goes to xhurch every week, volunteers at a food bank. I don't know how to cope this week while we wait for her next appointment to find out more
Hi Crazy Plant Lady and a very warm welcome to the online community which I hope you'll find is both an informative and supportive place to be.
I'm so sorry to read that you lost your dad to cancer 9 years ago and now your mum has suspected liver cancer.
As the online community is divided up into different support groups, I'm going to recommend that you join the liver cancer group so that you can ask questions, share experiences and receive support.
Another group that you might want to join is the carers only group, if you are your mum's carer, or the family and friends group, if you're not her carer. Both of these groups are safe and supportive places to discuss your worries and emotions with other people who have a loved one living with cancer.
To join any of these groups, just click on the links I've created and, once you've joined, you can start a new post in the same way as you did here, and join in with existing conversations by clicking on reply.
It would be great if you could pop something about your mum's diagnosis and treatment so far into your profile as it really helps others when replying to you and also when looking for someone on a similar pathway. It also means that you don't have to keep repeating yourself. To do this click on your username and then select 'Profile'. You can amend it at any time and if you're not sure what to write you can take a look at mine by clicking on my username.
Sending supportive (((hugs)))
"Never regret a day in your life, good days give you happiness, bad days give you experience"
Hello Crazy Plant Lady. I'm sorry to hear about your mum and dad. Your memories of losing your dad must come flooding back and add to your concern about your mum's cancer and prognosis. There's no easy way through this situation hon except to say you do already have "coping" skills built in from losing your dad that will assist you in coping with your mum's treatment. Allow yourself plenty of "me" time with friends and other family members so you can cry and feel sad. This is absolutely normal behaviour, in fact you would be odd if you did not feel as you do. "The brave face" we put on is a tool to get through doctor appointments or treatments as can hear much if you're just sobbing. It's ok to cry away from your mum too, there may be a time when you will be sad with her but for now it's the treatment planning time so take paper and a pen to write info down at the planning meeting as it'll be hard to absorb everything then and for your mum it'll be a time of possible confusion and sadness. She too will be remembering her husband and his death and be very conscious of her own mortality.
I hope the meeting goes well and it's outcome has a positive stance. Please come back and let us know how it goes hon.
Take care 
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