My relationship with my husband has always had difficulties despite getting together in our 50s after many years apart. It was all charming and sometimes even sickly sweet. But his insecurities and jealousy were insane. We continued and I tried to brush nasty jealous hurtful comments aside. But he's recently been diagnosed with lung cancer and now won't even talk to me unless it's to snap at me or be nasty. I try to encourage him to spend quality time with me and even suggested taking him out for dinner so we can talk and have a nice evening. He refused and doesn't want to leave the house. My cooking has become sh*t to him and nothing I do is good enough. I feel so hated and pushed away. I cry myself to sleep while he sits up all night watching TV, he just sits there like a zombie and is rude to me if I say anything. I go to all his appointments with him and read as much as I can to support him. I tell him I love him and care but he just ignores me. I have my own illnesses and am disabled but still do everything for him and he still hates me. If I raise my voice out of frustration he tells me I'm the one making him ill and raising his blood pressure! We're waiting results of head and PET scan and I'm really wondering if his cancer has metastized to his brain. Sorry this is long I'm just so depressed and sad and want to know if this is common. I have experience of cancer as I looked after both my parents. My mum had sarcoma and died 14 years ago aged 64 and my dad also had lung cancer and died 8 years ago. Neither of them treated me the way my husband does now. Feeling very sad and lonely.
Hi Ladywolf and a very warm welcome to the online community which I hope you'll find is both an informative and supportive place to be.
I'm sorry to read that your husband has been diagnosed with lung cancer and it sounds like you're going through an incredibly tough time at the moment.
As the online community is divided up into different support groups, I'm going to recommend that you join and post in the carers only group as you'll then connect directly with others who may have faced or be facing similar issues.
To join just click on the link I've created and, once you've joined, you can start a new post in the same way as you did here, and join in with existing conversations by clicking on reply.
It would be great if you could pop something about your husband's diagnosis and treatment so far into your profile as it really helps others when replying to you and also when looking for someone on a similar pathway. It also means that you don't have to keep repeating yourself. To do this click on your username and then select 'Profile'. You can amend it at any time and if you're not sure what to write you can take a look at mine by clicking on my username.
x
"Never regret a day in your life, good days give you happiness, bad days give you experience"
