Parent diagnosed but ignoring conversations about it

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My mother has been diagnosed with terminal lung cancer, we believe a type related to an asbestos caused cancer. The family was told earlier this year with my parents learning about it in summer last year. My mothers in her 70’s and near enough refusing to talk about. I can’t imagine how she must feel but I’m left feeling terrible as months on I’m almost getting cross not knowing what to do - her friends around the world messaging me to ask how she is but I haven’t a clue. I should say I live 4 hours away, work in a challenging job and have two autistic children so spare time is limited. If I knew her time was limited I’d drop everything in a heart beat. How can I ask my parents to share more without sounding selfish? Thanks for listening. 

  • Hi  and a very warm welcome to the online community which I hope you'll find is both an informative and supportive place to be.

    I'm sorry to read that your mother has been diagnosed with incurable lung cancer and it sounds like you're going through a very challenging time.

    As you know, the online community is divided up into different support groups so I'm going to recommend that you join the supporting someone with incurable cancer group which would give you the chance to talk directly with others who have a loved one living with cancer.

    To join just click on the link I've created and, once you've joined, you can start a new post in the same way as you did here, and join in with existing conversations by clicking on reply.

    It can be difficult to know what to say and how to broach the subject when you want to talk to someone with cancer, so you might find this booklet from Macmillan called talking with someone who has cancer helpful before you next speak to your mother. You can view it online, download it or send for a hard copy.

    x

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