Hi all,
Its been over a month that my mom has been diagnosed with cancer (possibly vulvar or ovarian with potential lung metastasis) and after having gone through several biopsies we will have a meeting at the doctors on Wednesday to discuss the results and a treatment plan.
She is in severe pain and feels lost with everything as it's taking long and there is no communication with her doctors between appointments, which makes it even harder.
We are trying to build a right framework for her with doctors, hospitals and home care, but I can see how tough it is for her, and equally for us too, as I am not near her normally, as I live on a different continent, but I will stay with her till her treatments start, and I know she is safe.
I was wondering if anyone else had cancer later on in life and managed to beat it. She is 69, and her mental and physical state is really worrying me, and I feel helpless as i can't do anything to take away the suffering. At times, she cries that she wants to die, and she keeps telling me that her feeling is not good, which I am suspecting is the fear and anxiety speaking.
She is not getting out of bed, other than to the toilet, or doctor's appointments, and she is not interested in anything. She has been put on Oxycodone twice a day but it doesn't seem sufficient. She is reluctant to take more painkillers, which makes it harder for her.
I am constantly in between being hopeful, and then again despairing, but I try to not show her my despair, but I am trying to be strong and in action mode to make sure everything runs smoothly. I sincerely miss my mother, as lately it is just the anxiety and pain speaking and I hardly recognize her.
I would be grateful to hear any success stories, or anything that can help us going through this.
Thanks so much. xx
Hi Sandrine K
I'm sorry to read that your mom has recently been diagnosed with cancer and I know what a difficult time this will be for the whole family.
I can see that you've previously posted in the vulva cancer group and would suggest that you copy and paste this post into a new post there as then you'll connect directly with others with the same type of cancer as your mom.
As for people later in life beating cancer, well I've had both melanoma and more recently breast cancer and I'm still here to tell the tale and I'm only a few years younger than your mom!
You say that there is "no communication with her doctors between appointments" but she should have been allocated a cancer nurse specialist (CNS), sometimes referred to as a keyworker or Macmillan nurse, who is her point of contact between appointments. these nurses are invaluable as they can usually answer most questions and also liaise with the consultant on your mum's behalf. If your mom doesn't know who her CNS is, then she can find out by ringing her consultant's secretary.
It sounds as if your mom would benefit from speaking to her GP about her "mental state" as they should be able to help her. Macmillan have also teamed up with Bupa to offer up to 6 free counselling sessions for people who are struggling emotionally because they are living with cancer. Clicking here will give you more information about this.
As you know, the online community is divided up into different support groups and you might also want to join the family and friends group, which is a safe and supportive place to share your worries and emotions.
To join just click on the link I've created and, once you've joined, you can start a new post in the same way as you did here, and join in with existing conversations by clicking on reply.
It would be great if you could pop something about your mom's diagnosis and treatment so far into your profile as it really helps others when replying to you and also when looking for someone on a similar pathway. It also means that you don't have to keep repeating yourself. To do this click on your username and then select 'Profile'. You can amend it at any time and if you're not sure what to write you can take a look at mine by clicking on my username.
Sending (((hugs)))
"Never regret a day in your life, good days give you happiness, bad days give you experience"
