Not bothered

Hi Laplace and a very warm welcome to the online community which I hope you'll find is both an informative and supportive place to be.

You might be interested in joining the living with incurable cancer group where you can chat to others with a terminal diagnosis. You'll find lots of people there with the same attitude as you. 

If this is something that you'd like to do, clicking on the link I've created will take you straight there. 

It would be great if you could pop something about your diagnosis and treatment so far into your profile as it really helps others when replying to you and also when looking for someone on a similar pathway. It also means that you don't have to keep repeating yourself. To do this click on your username and then select 'Profile'. You can amend it at any time and if you're not sure what to write you can take a look at mine by clicking on my username.

Hello Laplace and welcome to Macmillan.  I'm sad to hear about your diagnosis and can read that you have very definite and clear feelings about your death.  It's certainly a bolt from the blue to be told that by a doctor, were you expecting that?  Has your view on death always been the same or are you in shock still?  As a previous hospice nurse my view on death hasn't changed much for years so when I received my diagnosis one of the first things I did was to choose some songs. I'm a humanist so no god or church for me thank you.  'Somewhere':from West Side Story and 'She' sung by Elvis Costello. 

My 22 year old child promised me she would write a eulogy entirely made up of song lyrics as I'm a passionate music lover, aged 60 and therefore enjoyed London in my 20's during my nurse training. 

I can see Latchbrook has suggested joining a specific group and I'm sure within that group there will be both like minded people and those who are scared.  I wish you well through your treatment, may it give you few side effects and possibly more time to spend with those who care about you. X

Good that you are taking things stoically - I was really going to pieces on my prognosis and expected the diagnoses to not only confirm bowel cancer but also estimate the death I'd resigned myself too but my stance spun round virtually on the spot when they told me they could save me with surgery in 2022 as they did, though it left me wearing a stoma for life.   Many struggle with a dark diagnosis. I hope you get to , do some lovely things with your remaining time, as long or short as it proves to be and that you face as little pain as possible and gain closure with family, friends, etc.