Hi all.
im new to this group and just to give you a little into my story.
my dad was diagnosed with stage 3 lung cancer back in December, and things have been going ok, then over this past weekend things have taken a change, and my dad had to have his house broken in to by the police as part of a welfare check. He was found up his bed. He has been confused and not eating.
we were called to his house by the community nurse who said that dad had to go into hospital for his confusion and not safe to be left alone. I should add that I live in wales and my dad lives alone in Luton, so I haven’t been around as much as I could have.
when we got to the hospital on Sunday evening he was assessed by the consultant who said that his kidney function was decreasing and they weren’t sure if that was due to him having an infection or whether his medication had caused it.
We didn’t know about the secondary cancers until the community nurse told us on Sunday.
dad was having trouble emptying his bladder and was holding on to quite a lot of wee. They were going to Catheterise him unless he could pass urine himself. Thankfully yesterday afternoon he managed to go and avoided this.
I should also say that dad has been having some quite awful hallucinations as well.
he is still quite confused and is now off fluids but he has text me now and said that my brother is being held by the police, when my brother is at home with his wife and daughter. The next text was a reply to one I sent him earlier in the evening to see if he had any dinner, and he could tell me that he had a small dinner and not had any sleep.
We are trying to get a place in wales for my dad so he can come and be near us and not here alone, but I just saw on another page that usually men who can’t wee with prostate cancer die within a few weeks and I’ve scared myself silly now. Im sat here at quarter past three in the morning worried sick.
dad has refused to have chemo and is accepting of radiotherapy to help and also to have surgery. He was also the most positive we have seen him about moving to wales and starting a new life down with us.
we went to get a cuppa and came back to him to find him looking at places to live near us.
I don’t know if I m preparing to try and find somewhere for him to live or am I preparing to lose him.
I’m trying to take the positive that he wants treatment and it’s giving me hope
please can someone give me some advice. I’m sorry if this doesn’t make sense, say here trying to right this with a confused brain and tears rolling down my face.
Many thanks
Hi Welshwife
Welcome to the forum and sorry to hear about your Dad's cancer and about the struggles you and your Dad are having. It's good that at least he is willing to have radiotherapy and surgery and that he is considering moving closer to you so that you can deep an eye on him. I notice that you are a member of the family and friends forum as well as the Carers only forum so why not put your questions to the members of those forums and I'm sure someone will only be too willing to give you advice. Might I also suggest that you contact Macmillan to get support from one of the fantastic volunteers that work for Macmillan. The link to that support is as follows: https://www.macmillan.org.uk/cancer-information-and-support/get-help.
Hope this is of some help.
Best of luck to you and your Dad.
Best wishes
Daisy53
Hi Welshwife
I’m glad to hear that your father has come to stay with you, but I’m sorry to hear that. his oncologist misadventures that there is nothing more that they can co for him.
Take care of yourself.
Daisy53
