Reoccurrence/secondary

I have no trouble admitting that I am finding the same problem very difficult to deal with. Living with fear and uncertainty possibly for a very long time is hard for me and maybe more so for my long suffering and very sweet wife.

I wish I could give you an answer on how to cope, I’m struggling too, every minute of every day and my anxiety has gone through the roof. My dear OH has no idea how I feel because I feel bad putting it on him after all of his support throughout the past year.

good luck, I guess at some point we will just learn to push it to the back of our mind and get on and enjoy life x

I'm afraid I can't give a direct answer on how to cope with this but I can say that, from experience since my first diagnosis in 2014, it does get easier and there should come a time when it no longer dominates your thoughts and fears but sits well back in your mind.

Everyone's different of course and I hope you can arrive at that point soon.

If I get through the six month tests and check up I will breath half a sigh of relief.

EG1236 I feel just the same, hard to get started again after ending a year of treatment. Doesn't help that on my first scans 3 months later a node was active so I had to have an ultrasound quickly.  My skin nurse rang today to say my MRI was clear and I asked re the PET scan result and she wasn't sure! Didn't have those in front of her)

I've spent the whole day at home, unable to think beyond I'm going to die soon.

Hi there

Yes, you've hit the nail on the head, this is the crux that affects us all here, and the advice "just stop worrying or thinking about it" is more easy said than done.  

When you have a treatment plan or investigations ongoing then I find these can help distract the brain as you concentrate on that.  

But once in the treatment zone, or the watch-and-wait period then it's a different issue.  

It does get easier over time.  I keep telling myself that I can't affect whether it returns or the drugs stop working so there is no point in thinking about it.  Easy for me to say when my cancer is shrinking from the immunotherapy huh.  I also remind myself that if the cancer progresses or the immunotherapy becomes ineffective then there are other drugs to try.  My oncologist and I have already discussed the next drug he thinks would be good for me (tivozanib, a TKI).  I like to keep a step ahead of the negative response - it helps to know we can change tack to attack it!  

When I've found it all becoming overwhelming, when I had to take a treatment break, then I've tried to keep busy and fill my days with activities.  I will do something nice, like go out with a group and I discover I haven't thought of the cancer all day - great!

I read about cognitive behaviour therapy too.  This is about when you get a pain and you immediately think "the cancer has returned!". CBT is about training your brain to tell yourself "I used to get pains like this all the time before cancer and they weren't it", "it's unlikely to be anything worrying because the post cancer tests have come back clear", "even if it is the cancer returning there are lots of treatment options and people live many years these days on treatments".