Emotionally drained

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Just signed up to this chat group. Not one for sharing normally but feel I’ve reached breaking point. My husband is undergoing chemo & immunotherapy for laryngeal cancer. It has been the darkest and most difficult time of our lives. He’s had 4 rounds of chemo (2 more to go). At the start of treatment he had 2 hemorrhages resulting in an emergency tracheotomy being performed. The trachy is uncomfortable and brings up a lot of mucus which causes him to cough incessantly, it’s gotten worse lately. He can barely speak He’s also had a RIG inserted as he has difficulty swallowing, so no solid food the last 3 months. The chemo and meds he’s on causes him to feel chronically fatigued and drugged up all the time. The suffering and pain he has been going through has been unbearable; it’s been one setback after another, full of complications, with insignificant signs of improvement. He’s normally such a positive person with bundles of energy and always active but this illness and treatment has taken everything away from him causing him so much pain and suffering leaving him unable to do the simplest of things and feeling very depressed. I feel like we’ve reached breaking point but there’s no light at the end of the tunnel. It’s been a relentlessly difficult, lengthy and painful journey. Mentally I don’t feel as if I can cope any more. I cannot unburden to well meaning friends especially when everything in their lives are going so well. I just feel resentment and anger, depressed and alone dealing with all of this.

Hi Shanna16 and a very warm welcome to the online community which I hope you'll find is both an informative and supportive place to be.

I'm so sorry to read how much you and your husband are going through at the moment and it's no wonder that you're feeling as you are.

As you know, the online community is divided up into different support groups so I hope you don't mind me recommending that you join the very friendly head and neck cancer group, which is a great place to ask questions and share experiences with others who have the same type of cancer, and also the carers only group which is a safe and supportive place to discuss your worries and emotions with others who are looking after a loved one living with cancer.

If you'd like to join these groups just click on the links I've created and then join and start a new post in the same way as you did here. You can also join in with existing conversations by clicking on 'reply'.

It would be great if you could pop something about about your husband's diagnosis and treatment so far into your profile as it really helps others when replying to you and also when looking for someone on a similar pathway. It also means that you don't have to keep repeating yourself. To do this click on your username and then select 'Profile'. You can amend it at any time and if you're not sure what to write you can take a look at mine by clicking on my username.

If you have any difficulty navigating the community just drop me a reply and I'll be pleased to help

"Never regret a day in your life, good days give you happiness, bad days give you experience"

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