Catheter fitted fitted at the start of treatment 2 years later

Hi  unsure what to do

Suffer skin cancer.  By the time I realised it had spread to the brain lung thyroid prostate stomach liver.  First sign was the loss of the use of my leg.

Doctors informed me I was at end of life.  After getting a second opinion  I was transfered to another hospital 

While the second hospital was considering if anything could be done my bladder went into retention. And a catheter fitted.   

I went on to have brain surgery and cyperknife and immunotherapy. As the treatment started the consultant for urology said he cannot consider me for anything while receiving treatment for the cancer.  But suggested the catheter said in life. After some discussion he said he may be able to offer an operation but not while being treated

I'm now recovering well with all cancer gone. Except the lung which is now half its original size.  

The nurse come out to change the catheter and could not reinsert it. And sent me to A&E

   While there I was passing urine but unable to control it. I informed urology who said the catheter  and to go back in but of the risk of death from the bladder going back into retention 

So while at the swimming pool. Unknown to me the balloon burst and come out. So went back to A&E   again urine leaking

Again a new catheter was fitted

The urologist phone to say he was happy to proceed to do the operation to prevent retention.  However my concern is from my past experience I will end up wearing pads.  The consultant agreed and said It could cause impotence as well.

I would love to be catheter free but I feel how I could end up.  The catheter is the best option 

Am I being unreasonable to refuse the operation