Firstly I'd like to apologise for my pathetically awful post and rant. Things are complicated to say the least. There are a number of things going on for me , perhaps if I do bullet points it will be easier to explain.
. I was brought up by an alcoholic father after having left my mum at 9 years of age as ordered by social care.
. My sister who I adored left at this time aged 19 to live in Scotland.
. My mum had severe mental health issues and attempted to poison me when I was younger.
. Despite this I had a relationship, but not with my sister who then left for France without a word and told me she didn't want anything to do with me. Had her family whom I never knew (5 children).
. My father passed away 10 years ago, my sister didn't come to the funeral.
. I was in a relationship, married had four children, my husband was abusive I left and raised my children alone.
.12 months ago I was diagnosed with ovarian cancer stage 3. Chemo and surgery followed and now parp inhibitors (good outcome so far).
. 9 years ago my mum was diagnosed with stage 1a ovarian cancer, chemo followed, good outcome until recently a reoccurance that is not treatable.
4 years ago my sister returned from France saying her relationship was violent
I worked full time through chemo as I couldn't afford not to bring a single parent.
I got no help from anyone practically, no one helped. Not an aunt not my sister no one. I did it all without support . Emotionally my partner was supportive.
My sister has recently got cross with me because I spoke to one of my niece's about my mum. My niece text me to ask how her nan was and I told her. As a result of things she said and excluded me from a lot of things concerning my mum's care, we don't seam to be talking.
My mum asks me why my sister is always running about and I'm not?
Lots of people visiting my mum all the time, cousins sisters etc.
I feel unloved, unwanted and unsupported.
I want my mum better, but I'm so angry when I see how well she is being supported and me and my children got no support at all
I go from numb to upset to angry. No point trying to explain to my family as they don't seam to care or understand. I struggle and I'm tired and I am told keep your mum out if things, I have done. But I'm mad. I want to tell them all to leave me alone and I'm torn.
It's upsetting , not one person helped me.
Hi Dynasty, I am so sorry to have to read through your story. I am at a lose as how to answer and guide you.
A few things I can suggest, do consider calling the Macmillan Support Line is open 8am-8pm (timings may differ across services) 7 days a week on 0808 808 00 00 where you can ‘talk’ to one of our support team.
You may also find it helpful so do check to see if you have any Local Macmillan Support in your area, do also check for a local Maggie's Centre as these folks are amazing and provide support for all the family.
When it comes to the practical and emotional challenges of supporting your mum you may benefit from joining our general Supporting someone with incurable cancer group where you will connect with others in the same position.
If you'd like to connect in with a group click on the Green (Bold) link I have created above. Then once the group page opens click on the black banner that says [click to join] at the bottom, or the [Join] button under "Group tools."
You can then introduce yourself by putting up a ‘new post’ by clicking in the box near the top right with + New or + (Depending on the device you are using) and you are ready to go. You could copy and paste the text from this post into your new post.
Give me a shout if you need further help.
Best regards.
