Do you have a Stigmatised or Embarrassing Cancer?

Hello Harebellle, I think what you wrote re stigmatising cancers is very true.  

Lung cancer will always have the "smoking did they bring it on thselves" stigma attached to it, bowel and anal cancers have the "yucky bodily functions" attached, cervical, vulval have the "sexual' bit attached. As for me, well I'm the silly idiot who obviously doesn't ever apply suncream as I've got melanoma!

Sadly people always make judgements on others and believe what they want to.  I am sorry to hear that you feel your friends aren't comfortable with you.  It maybe just the "cancer" word rather than anything else. 

It can make us feel more isolated than we already feel.  I really hope you find out the you do have some decent people around you who don't judge you.  

I've found people's interest in supporting and contacting me has waned over the year of treatment I'm having. Saddens me. I like to think I'd be there for someone throughout the whole journey.  Maybe we do need to start spreading the word and raise support for the other cancer people have.  

Stay strong, we are here for you in these forums xxx

Your words are spot on, but only one thing I disagree with. Why not mention your thoughts in public. Shout them out !!!! People need to be stirred up from their daft judgments and imaginary comforts. 
mall the best 

M 

I wonder if it would be better if people with lung cancer were to tell people they have Thoracic Cancer?  An umbrella term, as it were.

Maybe there could be a similar option for people who have cancer in a ''sensitive' area 

Just a thought.

Hello.

Its does happen. People get treated differently with different types of cancer. This is a safe space and its good to let things out. More should be said about this

"I have cancer"

"Oh what cancer..."

Then my brain kicks in...Or they sincerely interested or ...---insert judgment here---.etc....

I tell them I have BUTT CANCER. Not sure if there is a stigma or judgement like lung cancer but its in the butt which people can find awkward. its literally uncomfortable to talk about :)

I am under chemo and in battle mode so at the moment I do not care.But perhaps after the dust settles.....

I may feel differently 

Interesting post thanks. As you say, there are some really embarrassing cancers that people don't like to talk about either.

Most people are too polite to ask which camcer you have, but some are very persistent.

In a way I blame the department of health for the stigma towards lung cancer patients. In their efforts to put people off smoking, there are some hard hitting 'ugly' adverts on TV, billboards and cigarette packets. As a result, I'm sure people with lung cancer are seen as dirty and diseased!

OK they may be helping to stop smoking (debatable whether it's working) but they are using people with lung cancer to get the message across.  They're basically throwing us under a bus in the process.

It's been extremely  damaging. As well as unfair.

People with cancer, whatever the type, should be treated with care, kindness and respect 

I am currently in remission from both lymphoma and primary lung cancer.  Because of the sequence in which my cancers were diagnosed and treated, people tend to assume that the cancer in my lung was a progression of the lymphoma - which has no lifestyle risk factors - and I don't bother trying to explain that they were synchronous.

I have noticed that in public spaces, people very often feel the need to make disclaimers about their lifestyle prior to diagnosis.  I hope that changes because many people are being lulled into a false sense of security regarding their own risk.

Whatever Next- you're right, it does need to be said.  Dame Deborah who recently died certainly made bowel cancer a bit more sexy and the Big Brother young girl, Jade Goody, made a difference in cervical cancer but it doesn't last long.  Bowel screening has risen dramatically since Deborah died for sure.  Many think melanoma is fine, just a mole you get cut out and are cured from.  Insured in London in the early 89's and experienced AIDS and HIV beginning.  It took shock tactics to get the message across.  Ignorant people still think our heatwaves and warmer weather is a good thing!

X

Hi Harebellle

I have a stigmatised cancer-cervical- and although I obviously talk about it within the community I don’t do so elsewhere. I did tell a couple of friends at my initial diagnosis, and yes, got the judgement, so I keep quiet now-I don’t need to be judged for something that I was unlucky to get.

I hate people making assumptions with no knowledge, and thinking they can tell me what they’ve read on the internet about “cure” rates when they have no idea, or banging on about smear tests when they don’t realise they don’t always pick up my type of cervical cancer. 

Having a cancer which is tied up with sex is very difficult. I don’t want to keep quiet as I have plenty to say, but I still haven’t found my voice outside of here to correct all of the inaccuracies I see and hear about this cancer, because although it’s so linked to sex and intimate parts of the body, it’s not a “sexy” cancer like breast cancer which gets huge research funding, yet has good rates of success in treatment. 

My cancer has treatments which I’ve seen described as mediaeval torture, yet where’s the research to make things better for us? My surgery has removed everything inside, left me with 2 stomas and no vagina at all, unable ever to have sex again. That’s the reality of advanced cervical cancer which very few people would know about or comprehend.

I get angry with myself for not being able to speak out, but I’ve been quiet for so long I think it would be difficult now.

Sarah xx

Hi Sarah and everybody,

I am just at the beginning of this journey with cervical cancer, which was picked up luckily in a smear test after years and years of negative results.

So far most medical professionals have started off by asking me accusingly "didn't you do your smear check ups?"

I then have to go through my whole story again, trying to prove its not my "fault".

It's so difficult and tiring and I sometimes wish I had a different, more socially acceptable disease. Only after reading all these posts have I realised I'm not the only one who feels embarrassed having a disease caused by an STD. 

Most people have sex during their lifetime, and obviously only unprotected sex creates children so I really don't think that it should be so stigmatised. 

I'm so glad my daughter has been vaccinated, so can hopefully avoid this insidious disease. I suppose the development of this vaccine will help future generations but it may also lead to less money being invested into helping those with cervical cancer at the moment as the matter may seem "resolved" in some way. 

Anyway thanks, I have felt so down and isolated trying to deal with this in a foreign country too. This forum is a lifeline .

Have a good day all,

Lulabell

Ah Sarah xx

Not sure what to say. Just wish i couud give you a massive hug! Xxx (and I don't even like hugging people in real life usually) :)

You're right, it's difficult to discuss things outside this forum.