Tiredness In Post Cancer Surgery

Hi Everyone!

Has anyone here had experiences of themselves or a loved one sleeping a lot after cancer surgery a few months down the line? I've been on talking about my husbands bowel cancer but recently he has been sleeping a lot during the day and early evening. I know its been a lot for him to go through-for both of us of course!  I've been sharing the disturbing news about a letter we received also about his CT being brought forward etc also. He was on Iron tablets (Ferrous Fumerate) before his operation for anaemia and before his op they stopped them and after he came home he went back on them again but for some reason they have been stopped again. I know this operation has affected him mentally and emotionally also but he's also `old school` and sees it is not a thing men talk about. He doesn't come into bed until the early hours of the morning ( 1 or 2 a.m) so I know this is a factor that could be causing it. Unfortunately he blames me for this because apparently I am a very loud snorer which can be a problem in relationships itselfFlushed and it seems this wakes him up and he needs to get up. I've tried lots of things for this but some just don't work even sleeping in seperate rooms but I miss our `comfy bed`Confused. He very seldom dresses himself during the day either just sitting in PJ bottoms and a T shirt. Even if we got out for some shopping he won't get dressed properly because he knows he won't be getting out the car and I will go in and get what we need so just goes with what he has on.  Before he had his stoma op I had to go into the supermarket to get the shopping because he was always worried he would `need to go` urgently so always stayed in the car and was pleased when finished his treatment he could actually get out and come round the supermarket with me little things like that but it seems he reverted back to sitting in the car. Washing is a bit of a chore too. I nag him to have showers but are told in no uncertain terms where to go. I have had a handrail put up in the shower for him but its always at the back of his mind he's going to fall and will just stand at the sink and do a `top n tail` wash but feel he's not washing himself properly doing that. He was trying at the beginning to go out for a walk but of course being in Scotland (Glasgow) sometimes our weather is very unpredictable and its wet n windy some days so the walking exercises have stopped also. Could this be a wee bit of depression setting in. Thanks. 

PattyK

  • HI Patty 

    Well anemia  will definitely cause fatigue and you should get that checked. But from personal experience staying up late, sleeping lots and letting go of personal hygiene is depression. I am not an expert but this hits home for me.

    Have you tried discussing this with him ? 

  • Hi Eddieo

    No cant speak to him about it. He's one of the the `old school` as I said and tends to bottle things up then blows up. I try to make light of him not washing - unfortunately its always been a thing with him not just since he got ill- but he always takes it wrong way and it ends up in an argument. His `chickens have come home to roost though` because years ago I tried- and not just me- to tell him about his weight but he wouldn't listen now look whats happened. Type 2 Diabetes and cancer.  When He found out about the diabetes both of us went on a really big health kick and joined a gym and was going about 5 days a week but then Covid happened so that shut everything down. Then at the end of 2020 that was when his cancer problems started. He's one of these people who eat all the wrong things at the wrong time he worked almost 24 hours a day 7 days a week for a pittance of pay but thought he was doing his boss a favour when all the time the b`strd was using him to line his own pockets didn't even acknowledge him when he retired all he got was an `All The Best and just stick the keys through the letter box when you leave` and I'm being serious. Not even a leaving do or nothing for him.  If no one else wanted to do a job he'd ask James and right away it was a yes although at times he used to complain about it but was always afraid to say `no`. He used to go out early hours of the morning sometimes 3 or 4 a.m. and not get home to 8 or 9 at night sometimes not coming home at all and sleeping in his works van. So he's `rueing the day` as they say. His eating habits have changed though I will say that. He tries to get sugar free drinks and uses sweetners in tea and coffee instead of sugar and eats a lot of fruit now. I know its this appointment thing going through his mind about them finding chemical levels have risen in his blood tests and how they will be bringing forward his CT scan. He's thinking the obvious as am I that's `its back` the sarcastic quips and funny one liners he usually comes out with are `out the window` for the time being he went this way last year before his stoma and cancer operations and withdrew right into himself and I can see this happening again. Sorry for my `rant` but I just need to come on here and get things off my chest. Thanks