Mum's bowel cancer

FormerMember over 3 years ago

2 replies
13 subscribers
499 views

My Mum was diagnosed with bowel cancer, she was give weeks to live and so far she's managed 5 which is incredible, she looks so beautiful you wouldn't even know she had it. The morphine takes a lot out of her but it's helps the pain, I get a message from my dad every morning letting me know how she is getting on, these are normally positive. However today's one wasn't to good, she's needed a morphine booster and also was sick when she woke up, im in work hidden away as I don't want to face anyone, I'm really scared not knowing if this is the start of a slow decline towards the end.

latchbrook over 3 years ago

Hi and a warm welcome to the online community which I hope you'll find is a supportive place to be.

As you know the community is divided up into different support groups so I hope you don't mind me suggesting that you also join and post in the supporting someone with incurable cancer group where you can discuss your emotions and give and receive support. If this is something that you'd like to do clicking on the link I've created will take you straight there.

"Never regret a day in your life, good days give you happiness, bad days give you experience"

Alottment lover over 3 years ago

Hi Laurence and it's a very sad time for you obviously with you mum being given a diagnosis and prognosis one after the other. No time to take much in so I imagine you, your mum and rest of the family must still be in shock. I hope your mum has continuous access to palliative care nurses to liaise with her GP a to ensure good control of her symptoms and to support you all.

It's impossible for me to comment on what's going on with your mum's health right now but her GP surely would know and answer questions?

What I can suggest as a possibility and something my mum had is that often with bowel disease the bowel itself can become blocked by tumour, this might account for the vomiting and also as the bowel's normal movement is compromised by disease it's possible to feel severe colicky pain which can come in waves or as a block of pain. Once again the district nurse or the palliative (community) nurse can suggest a slightly different pain killer to add to the morphine so it's worth speaking to them asap. If the bowel gets obstructed by the cancer then it can lead to a slowing/ shuttering down of the body's organs and this can lead to the person becoming very drowsy and sleepy which usually indicates time can be in days from that point rather than weeks.

What you're feeling is very normal, we all cope in different ways and you are entitled to your way too. There are no magic right or wrong things to say or do when someone you care about is deteriorating before your eyes, if you want to and can, spend some time with her, maybe reminisce about funny/touching moments you've had with her, there's no right or wrong thing to say but I do believe that we should try and ensure we find space to say what we need to so that we're not left with that awful thought of important things left unsaid. Take care of yourself x