I'm new and scared!

Hi  and welcome to the online community

Waiting for tests and then the results can be an extremely stressful time and it's natural to be scared.

As you know, the online community is divided up into different support groups so I'm going to recommend that you also join and post in the head and neck cancer group as this will give you the opportunity to connect with others who may have had similar problems to yourself.

To join just click on the link I've created and then choose 'click to join' or 'join' (depending on the device you're using) on the page that opens. You can then introduce yourself and post in the same way as you did here and join in with existing conversations by clicking on 'reply'. 

It would be great if you could pop something about your tests, etc into your profile as it really helps others when replying to you and also when looking for someone on a similar pathway. It also means that you don't have to keep repeating yourself. To do this click on your username and then select 'Profile'. You can amend it at any time and if you're not sure what to write you can take a look at mine by clicking on my username.

If you have any difficulty navigating the community just drop me a reply and I'll be pleased to help

x

Hi Latchbrook, 

Thank you for the welcome, yes I did see all of the different support groups of which I never before knew that there were so many but it's fantastic knowing that they are there to help. I shall pop a post up in your suggested group this right after I finish thus response. 

I shall add my results when I get them, I'm hoping they don't take long. 

Thanks again

Hi Coops86,

This is the very worst of times when we waiting for results and scans.  The best thing you've done is to get things moving in the right direction. Of course this may be a virus and nothing whatsoever to do with cancer.  Please spend the weekend out and about, with friends, shopping, sport, anything that keeps you away from Mr Google who is not your friend. Stay away,bit will worsen your fears and can give false info.  Fingers crossed for you but it could have a simple diagnosis too so try not to panic.

Take care x

Hi Allotment Lover, 

Yes it is but its not long to go now. I took your advice which helped massively, had a bit of a dip mentally tonight again so I've come back on here to help. Thank you

Dips are allowed, they never stop coming even for me and I'm only ten months since diagnosis.

Hope your ultrasound and blood results come back soon.  Were you told how long they would be? I know with covid etc that the waits are the very hardest part of this process.

Glad to hear you kept busy over the weekend.   Sometimes we do think the worst and breakdown, that's only natural. I hope you've got a good friend or two to talk with at the moment.

I still have really bad days and recently I cried pretty much all through my IV treatment to the lovely lady who was giving me some reflexology!  

Just take care and hang on in there x

I can see that being me also because I can be quite a worrier at times, even if all is clear. It's something that's becoming more apparent to me especially being a parent now. 

Yeah they told me it would be about a week, so it should be sometime at the start of next week but I'll try not to overthink it if I don't hear anything first thing.

I've spoken with a few friends but not really gone to deeply into it or about how I'm feeling, I used to be able to open up to people but as I've gotten older I've found this harder to do, I haven't really gotten into it deeply with my partner either if I'm honest.

I could see that being me too, these wonderful people must get that a lot but I'm only guessing on that.

I hope all your is going well with your treatment x

Funny thing that. That opening up stuff. It does seem to get harder as we age, well not harder per se but I'm less reluctant to burden anyone.  I'm a single parent of a 21 year old, a nurse, never married and lived abroad so I've always been independent. I've definitely got quieter as I've aged (59 now).  

Being a parent completely alters your perspective on life I've found.  If you wanted to talk then I know Macmillan are offering some free supportive sessions via this site.  Not sure of the way to find it but there's also the phone line which is open til 8pm.   

Our brains certainly work overtime when facing this kind of stuff and sometimes we just stay quiet, biding our time until we know for sure.  Then we talk.  There is always someone on here happy to listen, not judge and offer support even if it's me wittering on about my alottment and how I'm building a rustic bench from pallets plus my own mini "hot room" to propergate my baby seedlings! I head out in the am, drink copious amounts of tea with my buddies up there, eat cake or focaccia then come home. It's an absolute tonic being up there.

Well enough from me, take care and hang on in there.  Fingers crossed for good news hon x