My husband of almost 40 years has been diagnosed with Metastatic Head and Neck cancer. He has been having visual and balance problems since March but did not receive this diagnosis until August when he had a very large lymph node swelling in his neck. We have been told he has a very small patch on the lung which cannot be biopsied as it’s too small but other areas also showed on Petscan. They have said it’s not curable and he is currently having palliative chemotherapy. No prognosis has been given as yet. My world is falling apart. I am trying to keep strong for him and for our wonderful children but I honestly feel like I am drowning and I don’t know how I am going to cope going forward. Can anyone please tell me how to cope with this? I also care for my 93 year old mum who lives with us and am dealing with a house move in the new year. My husband was as fit and strong as a man half his age when this came out of the blue. Other than his visual and balance problems he feels well but everything I have read gives a poor prognosis. He thinks he is going to get better and it is tearing me apart. Please tell me how I am going to get through this I am so desperate.
Hi and I see its your first post so a warm welcome to the Online Community although so sorry to hear about your husbands diagnosis and the ongoing challenges, this is such a hard time for all the family but I do hope you will find lots of comfort and support from people who understand here on the Online Community.
I was the one with the cancer so I don't have answers for you but when it comes to the practical challenges of supporting someone you may benefit from joining our supportive Carers only and Supporting someone with incurable cancer groups where you will connect with others who have experience in supporting family and friends.
If you'd like to connect in with this group, you need to join the group. First click on the Green link I have created above. Then once the page opens up click on the black banner that says [click to join] at the bottom, or the [Join] button under "Group tools."
You can then introduce yourself by putting up a new post by clicking in the box near the top right with + New (Computers) or + (Mobile Devices). You will then see a dropdown menu so why not hit ‘Start a Discussion in New here, say hello’
You could copy and paste the text from this your first post. You can also search through existing ‘Discussions’ and click [reply] if you want to put up a comment.
It’s always good to talk so do call the Macmillan Support Services on 0808 808 00 00 - most services are open 8am to 8pm, 7 days a week Clicking here to see what is available. This service provides lots of cancer information, emotional support, benefit and financial guidance or just a listening ear. You may also find our Ask an Expert section helpful as well.
Talking to people face to face can indeed help a lot but during these strange times it’s not that available but do check to see if you have any Local Macmillan Support in your area has opened up. Do also check out for a local Maggie's Centre in your area.
Always around if you need further help in navigating the community.
All the very best ((hugs))
