After 8 weeks I have finally managed to sort some papers relating to my darling Sharon’s passing. When I read the death certificate I was really shocked when cause of death states cholangiocarcinoma (bile duct cancer). I was shocked because at no time during her treatment or discussions after this has any medical professional mentioned bile duct cancer, we were always told gall bladder, then spread to lungs. Another fact is no one ever discussed with us the fact that Sharon’s cancer was so bad her remaining life span would be so short. As a result we never sat down and discussed any funeral plans, etc… The first we genuinely realised the situation was so bad was when the oncology professionals insisted she be transferred direct to the hospice and not allowed home, as we had both hoped for. I appreciate now that I could never have coped had Sharon come home due to the levels of medication she required during those last days.
I have now developed a degree of anger inside because I feel the Drs were not completely open and honest with us. My plan is to arrange a F2F meeting with Sharon’s primary oncologist (he told me when Sharon passed that he would be happy to meet and discuss with me) and ask he for more details on exactly what went on and when they knew Sharon had a very limited time left.
As many of you know it is hard enough trying to cope with the heartbreak and grief, but to then find out we never knew the whole picture is almost too much to take.
best wishes to all.
Paul
Hi Paul
First of all can I offer my condolences on the passing on your wife Sharon. I have not been in your position so I can only begin to imagine how hard it must be for you.
I hope that talking to Sharon's oncologist will enable you to ask and get answers and, in the meantime, I wondered if you wanted to post this in the bereaved spouses and partners group. I'm sure there will be people in that group who will have done the same as you are planning to do and who would be happy to share their experiences with you.
Best wishes
x
"Never regret a day in your life, good days give you happiness, bad days give you experience"
Hi Paul
The easiest way is to copy your post from here and paste it into a new post in the other group. I'm happy to explain how to do that if you're not sure but I also don't want to presume that you don't know how to do it.
x
"Never regret a day in your life, good days give you happiness, bad days give you experience"
