Help needed with adult son

FormerMember over 3 years ago

1 reply
12 subscribers
718 views

Our son is 36 and still lives at home. We have four sons, 3 of whom work hard and have busy lives.

Stephen has not worked for 16 years since he fell at work and hurt his back which he refused treatment for.

I am struggling with my diagnosis of secondary breast cancer but mostly struggling with our son.

Stephen is obsessed about the dangers of covid and reasons not to have the vaccines. This is constant. He watches videos on the internet confirming his beliefs that the vaccines are gene therapies.

Can anyone help me find a answer as to how to cope with Stephen, his brothers tell me to kick him out but he refuses to claim benefits so has no money of his own.

It really is getting bad, sorry for posting this on here

ownedbystaffies over 3 years ago

Hi ,]So sorry to hear you are struggling withyour own health, but even more with your son's behaviour. I would guess from your story, that he has been a source of worry for you for most of the last 16 years. Refusal to accept treatment, or to claim benefits and now the rabbit hole of misinformation, suggest to me that he struggles with daily life and his mental health, even though you have not said so. It might be useful to see if you have a local mental health charity you can have a chat with, and maybe seek some support for yourself. Sadly it is hard to get help for your son, who probably does not see himself as in anyway needing it ( at least not outwardly). If that changes and he becomes clearly delusional, then the local NHS Mental health team need to be involved. There should be a mental health helpline in your area which may be able to support you in how you deal with this. Your other sons answer is the easy and probably totally unrealistic one - you are his mum and you care even though you are probably tired out. The McmIllan Helpline may have suggestions for you, or just be someone you can vent to. You say "our son", so I assume you have a partner - do you support each other and talk? or is this a topic which is avoided. Sorry to ask so many questions, but I really do feel for you, and you must find some support for yourself even if nothing changes in relation to your son. Many other people have found themselves with a relative or friend who has lost themselves in conspiracy theories around covid and there have been articles written by people who have struggled to cope with it. I really hope you can find a way through - sometimes it is more important to learn how to live with a situation and not try to fix things for others, hard though that it.There can be a relief in letting go of the belief that you have to make it right. I think there is an army of mothers and fathers out there, really finding it hard to know how to handle adult depressive children. I know I am one at times.

Lots of love